Today is my b/d. Am now 49 and wrapping my head around that I am nearly 50. Dont expect gifts or anything like that from anyone. Over time have sort of expected nothing and considering I have now become a huge loner and live in a new place where I only really know two people and neither know it is or I will assume they dont. One being a b/f /friend and what ever we have does my head in a lot. In time I will write this down what it has caused all this. I was single for 5 years prior to meeting him and to be fair, I enjoyed it. I didnt intimate with anyone and it was good for my soul. Im stuck in a situation where I live in a barding house. Have no job (am having interviews though) and feel quite suffocated. Am a bit anti social in a way, as have been getting alot of anxiety around people. Am not an easy person to get.
Today I feel ok considering I have been. Will make the most of this as there are times I dont get them. In time that will be written about on the day. Sometimes get the in-depth feeling that things are not going to change much for me. I had a place I rented for over 8 years, did gardening and had a job etc, started gong not the best when landlord decided to sell house and things just went cookoo from there.
Am gong to go to a cafe for lunch by myself while a read a book. Use to do this prior, but because I have no work, budget is tight , but it being my birthday, it is something for myself. Have a job interview I need to do today online. Kinda nervous as prefer them in person and this format of interview is new to me.
Today is a good day so far and plan to try and keep it that way.