Why Can’t I Leave?

Why can’t I just leave?!  I feel miserable every day.  I hate the way he talks to me and makes me feel.  I hate his stupid face and stupid voice.  I’m getting angrier and angrier every single day, and I can’t make myself get up and leave!  Why?  What is wrong with me?!!  Because all his insults and the things that he says are thinly veiled.  Like they don’t sound like outright insults, but they are passive aggressive comments that have subtext to them.  So if I call it out he can be like “I didn’t say that… what are you talking about?”  I know as soon as he does start one of his tantrums and starts yelling I’ll have a good excuse to leave, but he hasn’t done that lately, but also because I stopped defending myself and just let the hits keep coming.  I don’t know.  I’m so angry and miserable and depressed.  I wish he would just go away.  I WISH he was cheating.

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November 5, 2022

I could have written this years ago.  God, do I feel your pain reading this because I’ve been there.

November 7, 2022

@happyathome Were you finally able to leave?

November 7, 2022

@mnmchick2004 No, I finally told him from now on every time he goes out without me I’d also be going out and he knew I was serious that time and he never went again.   We have now been married for 35 years.  There were many many bad years but things are good now.