*****Our family is one less………*****

 I have so much I’ve wanted to say this week but OD is being a huge butthead!!

Anywho…….my sisters shower, its Oct. 13th at my house.  Im the MOH so its my job to get it done.  I finally started trying to put ideas together.  I threw her a kick ass baby shower when Froggie was almost ready to hatch, which by the way, just happened to be in October as well.  Im hoping this shower will be just as kick ass.  I’m having an "Around the house" themed shower.  Makes the most sense to me.  All Stephen and I really got was kitchen stuff for our wedding, mostly pyrex, corning ware, pot sets and slow cookers.  We didnt get hardly anything else for the house.  So, Im trying to avoid the same problem for my sister.  Each guest is assigned a room and asked to bring a gift that corresponds to that room.  We shall see how it works out.

I also have to plan her bachlorette party, which Im doing on November 3rd.  Oh Ive got so much to do!!!  There is a big community wide garage sale on my birthday, the 7th……gonna sign up for it to try to get rid of some of the crap in our house, so I have to start preparing for that.

Mom and I were talking, about my sister marrying this guy, basically she said that all guys are the same, they are just after the chase, and after theyve caught you they just dont seem to care anymore, so she is hoping that my sister will eventually realize he is never going to change and it will only get worse.  I told her that my relationship is not like that.  Stephen has been aware of the fact that he caught me for a while now, even before we got married.   He still cares, and he still tries VERY hard to keep me happy.  I told her that when I got home on Tuesday, Stephen had a fire meeting, I had dinner waiting for me, cookies baked for me, and a hot bubble bath waiting.  He was already gone to his meeting but it was all there waiting for me when I got home.  She said to give it a year or two and it will change.  I honestly dont feel like that is going to happen.  My husband is a sensitive, caring, gentle soul and I honestly feel like I will always be his top priority and he will always try his hardest to take care of me and show me love, to make sure I’m happy.

We didnt complete the things I wanted to get done for the house this weekend.  We did go to my cousins wedding.  It was alright.  She is sooooo…….I dunno, fake, money hungry, dumb.  I dunno why he married her and we heard it through the grapevine that this is # 3 or 4 for her.  I dunno if he was feeling the pressure, hes in his early 30s, his sister is married with a little one……I just dunno what he was thinking.  However, I did snap a pic of them getting ready to feed the cake to each other……she was yelling at him and threatening about smearing it in her face, my cam was being gay right at that moment and snapped a warped pic of it all.  Amazingly she looks like a monster…..I think its her true colors shinging through.  BTW, the dress was ugly, as were the colors.  She had a fall theme going on…..it’s not even fall yet.  We were not impressed.

Sunday night we went to watch the neighbor race.  Stephen really would love to actually help out but he doesnt know what the hell he is doing.  He’ll learn though, in time.  Maybe we can start going more often.  The car looked great and did great, he only made 2 passes, didn’t race anyone.

I’ve started trying to come up with ideas to renew our vows.  We thought that since no one from his friends and family, except a select few, were able to make it to the actual wedding, we would renew our vows on our first anniversary in New York for all of them.  Then go on our honeymoon.  Its soooo damn expensive.  But, fingers crossed, hopefully we can get it done. 

My sisters dog had puppies, they are cute, but one has a birth defect.  No upper jaw, its all nose, I should take a pic.  That is, if it has survived up until this point.  Stephen and I stopped by last night to check them out.  I held it and fed and it and told her to keep it warm and fed.  It wont suck.  Its soooooo weak, very sad.  We went home and I cooked dinner and worked on shower invites and such.  Shortly after we sat down to eat I heard sirens, we never hear sirens.  Turns out Stephen had to go on a fire call.  So he gobbled down the rest of his dinner and took off.  I finished my dinner, went to finish some shower things then crawled into bed to watch the news.  I wasnt even asleep a half hour when he came home. 

I woke up to him standing next to the bed crying.  I asked what was wrong and he told me he ran over Half Pint.  I pulled him down to me and hugged him tight.  Eventually I got up and got dressed and we went outside to bury him.  Poor puppy.  Stephen is sooooo upset about it and my heart breaks for him.  It was Stephens first time to actually grieve for a pet, his favorite one none the less, and top that with the guilt of it being your own doing.  Unbearable.  As he was leaving he thought he ran over Puppy, who seemed to be ok, he thought maybe it was just his paw or something, when he came back home he found Half Pint laying there dead.  He dug the hole and I laid him in it.  I didnt have words for him, I wanted to comfort him and make him feel better and not be mad at himself, but how do you do that?  I know exactly what he is feeling, although none of my dogs have ever died because of something I directly did, I still know what it feels like.  So, all I could do was hug him while he cried.  I cried a bit too, but at that moment, my grief was not important, only his.  Stephen and Half Pint had really bonded and he was def. Stephens favorite.  He was a sweet puppy who had been dumped in a terrible condition, we were working to get him into better shape and he had great potential.  But, everything happens for a reason.

Im so thankful I took those pictures the other day.  So thankful, even if they werent that great.

 

I don’t do very well in situations like that, I never can find the right words to say.  Instead I sit silent, feeling heartless, because Im not consoling the person.  I just don’t know what to do or say.

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This was really long……see what happens when OD acts up for a few days…..