Too Much

 I nearly crumbled….

I got home feeling shit because…

 and I just don’t have time to go to the hairdresser.

 and I keep setting aside time to get to it, but something comes up that is more important.

 there is just not enough time in my life to dedicate the time I need to excel. I will figure it out and make it happen, because this is one course and one thing that I will not let slide or give up on.

 has been neglected. I don’t have time to go to gym, prepare healthy work meals, reach 5000 steps. . I crashed and had a sugary drink yesterday and…have a can of coke sitting on my desk right now…it says no sugar but they are just fooling us with all the substitutes for the sugar and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…

My Biological mother called me yesterday and told me she was at the clinic…so I phoned her when I could sneak out of the office, during work. On Monday she fell off a chair, and said that for the last few days she hasn’t been feeling well. The doc said that her uterus didn’t look good and so they did a lot of blood tests etc. Said that she must come back in 2 weeks for the results. She ended off telling me that the nurse said that they might have to do a hysterectomy…well she said – So I have been freaking out about that, because that doesn’t sound too good. I live in a different province to her, her eldest daughter is so unreliable, so I cannot trust her to keep me updated and help our mother and support her and her kids, Our mother kinda does it all. A few years ago…well about 8 years ago my Bio Mother had a tumor…I jumped onto a plan and got to her asap so I can make sure that everything would be okay. The last time I was that scared was the when my Foster Mom collapsed in the bathroom and went to hospital for a few weeks before I had to say goodbye to her.  

 I should be getting my new car on Saturday…

It is crazy how I wanted to have my hair done for my car….but I think I will look good in that beauty not matter what my hair looks like.