Unlove you…

I really loved this tv series…

Driving by the park at tonight
I was stopping at the light
And you reminded me of all those days 

Today my husband was playing songs that I used to play to him….

 (Don’t understand what she is singing but I just bounce along)

So Many more other great songs!!!

Anyway…he played my jam hits and talked about the places I used to take him to, when we first started dating and were doing long distance. The Park…light house…and he told me how I was happy then and how he really got to see in me. I remember those days…and often I think about where that me has gone…

Posted at the coffee shop
We would sit and talk for hours
Never thought in a million years things would change

I just think about how being  ,  ,  just has a way of bringing me down.

Tied to my heart
Like a kite to a string
I’d follow you where the wind would blow

Everything I did then and do now, I always think of him and how it will affect him. And then he would go off drinking and I would just want to throw the towel in and call it quits….run off and do my thing! Only care about what I want, but that isn’t a marriage and how I want to live my life. But I just wish he would see how his drinking fucks our life up. I wish he would see how while he is sleeping off his slumber and all hung over I am loving him less and less. He makes me think things that make me hate myself.

We were something
But you were fronting
Now I’m sitting here wishing I could get you out of my head

There is so much going on in my life personally and I am wasting so much good on having to deal with all the shit he creates around me. Thinking how soon there is a Wine Gathering for my Shul, but besides not liking wine personally I have to probably forgo it because he cannot be around alcohol.

When he is sober he is all smooth and makes me forget all the shitty times and puts a smile on my face and makes me believe that we can get through all of this.

Baby, I tried but I can’t unlove you
You know you got your hooks in my soul
Feels like I’m dying slowly all because you
And your love will never let me go

But he is drunk and taking up too much space in my head….

I keep turning the page
And I turn out the light
But I’m back in the same old place
A thousand and one times
Takes all the breath out of me
I just can’t escape