It’s been over 1 year, 365+ days since we separated. She has probably never missed a night’s sleep, whereas I sit up every one of the nights until my body physically gives out. Booze, pills, guided meditation, nothing works to quiet my head and soothe my soul so I can sleep. What sleep I get is fitful and uncomfortable. Every night is thoughts in darkness and every morning it feels as though I was beaten in my sleep.
YouTube has lost it’s usefulness as a distraction. Netflix doesn’t make enough shows to hold what little interest I can muster. Type 2 diabetes has made me blind enough that reading has lost it fun and replaced it with mind numbing headaches.