I am really starting to understand the “stand up comic” way of life. Now i’m sure not all of them, but you hear all the stories about how some of the funniest one’s were also the most depressed.  Now it hard and weird to say that i’m a funny person, but I think I can hold my own in a room of strangers and friends. I have always been the “dancing monkey” in my circle of friends and family, which s probably half the reason this new emotional wrecked person I am has been somewhat ignored.

As much as everyone I want me time, but unlike at a lot, I just can’t handle it. Especially now. My mind drifts to the stuff I want to do, then to the reasons not to, then to how I enjoyed time with the wife and kids, followed with the things we never got to or did, and then the darkness…. I carry a guilt in me about how I won’t make these happen anymore for my family, my complete family..

Am I one of the only ones that still thinks the vows for marriage should be followed and not like a vehicle? When it runs rough or doesn’t look as nice, just dump it for a new one…

Log in to write a note