Except for the few of you on here, no one really cares about me. The kids know me as their Dad, their Father, but none of them can remember what it was like when I was there.  No one does, even myself. I always said I would die for Patty and I guess I have. No one thinks about me or wonders how I am, what I am doing.

I have just gone through 2 major procedures and still have effects from them. Apparently, the time I needed to heal was a total annoyance at work. Yet, she gets “covid” and is told to stay out all week. The plans I had with the boys for “Father’s Day” weekend are now shot to shit, once more. Honestly, who cares, my whole role of being their father was changed on me by others, and no matter what I do just still leaves me as a part-time Dad while the “step Father” instantly was put into place without missing a step. There was absolutely no way he could fail, while I was put into a spot where everything I do is considered a failure. I have to live, but by doing it I have to not be there for them sometimes, and I am the asshole. I have to work and change plans last minute because I don’t live with them, I am the asshole. I was put into a position where I lost everything and some weeks I can’t get support money to them, I am the asshole. “Ed is more of a Father to them. He is here for them, you aren’t.” 

I have become a non-factor to everyone. People only think of me when I owe money or they need a favor, both of which make me a dick when I can’t instantly jump through the hoops they hold up.

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3 weeks ago

People only think of me when I owe money or they need a favor…

You’re not alone there. Even though the nature of the bs in our lives aren’t the same. I’m very familiar with this part.

2 weeks ago

Of course Ed is there for them, he LIVES with them.  That’s just bullsh**!!  Of course you can’t always be there for them…she threw you out.  That’s on her, not you.