The nasty hate

Can someone explain why a person who ended the relationship has to be so nasty?

My part in it… During our marriage, I couldn’t keep a job. Let me explain. I was fired once, the rest was either I was let go due to money issues in the department or like my last one, I was trained to do a job that they decided they needed a microbiologist to do the same thing.

We had 2 cars repossessed. Lost one home, but in the same breath, we’re given another.  So, yeah, I sucked at money. Maybe I should have changed on my own.  I’m an adult, right, but I’ve learned that I had a personality disorder and among other things, it made me impulsive. I still am, but now I understand myself better and work every day to control myself. Does that win me back my life? No.

At no time did she ever ask me to sit down and tell me we had to get our act together ( or my act depending on who’s telling the story)

That’s the only issue I can think of or be indirectly told of. To me, we had an essentially fight-free marriage. We enjoyed our kids, worked together on projects and improvements, took Sunday drives, and sat down every night as a family. I understand and realize that sometimes love is unsustainable and shit happens, but she cheated and lied. She broke the marriage for whatever reasons that were bouncing around in her head. I regret leaving and not putting up more of a fight, but there was nothing there. She had checked out as soon as she blindsided me with it all.  No compassion for the man you spent almost half your life with and had 4 children with. The man who brought you into a real family that loved you as a daughter and sister.

So why, when I walked and gave you everything and left with nothing does she have to be this nasty vindictive person? Why throw shit in my face when she knows full well she broke me mentally, financially, and emotionally? Why say shit like “well I knew you wouldn’t pay for this” or ” I have to pay for all this, no thanks to you” when as soon as the same day I left she moved in a 2nd income source? I was homeless for almost 3 weeks. I was given the marriage debts that I pay almost $300 a month for and I’m still paying after 3 years. She has taken several trips, paid for a wedding, and is in the middle of remodeling my childhood home with the huge tax returns for the boys and the closed to $10000 in stimulus payments from the last two years. There is no mortgage payment at all. I have to pay $700 a month. I literally starve 3 days a week, yet like her, social services think I make tons of money. So much money I actually have bonfires of just cash. I’m single, what responsibilities do I have, Right?

I get talked down to like I was the cheating lying abusive one and somehow she and he have turned most people who know me against me.

WHY? She has everything she ever wanted and all it cost her was my whole life up until the break. Yet, I am treated like shit.