Wednesday Feb. 1
Well it’s been a day. Looked at the studio apartment near the boys. It will definitely be a change from having a bedroom. I have no flair for decorating so I can’t imagine what it will look like if I get it. IDK, I don’t live a life where I just sleep, shit, and shower and go. Honestly I don’t live any kind of life, I exist.
The whole reason like I said is to see the boys more, but how and where will they sleep? I guess I can have them hang out during the afternoon and then take them home. I just feel at an age where stuffing myself into a studio apartment will make me feel worse about myself. I know, that’s stupid.
I hate the way my brain is wired and I wish I could finally flow with life. I feel like I have to be forgiven for all of this, like it’s all my fault. I can’t make peace with the fact that this is who I am now. I’m a father to kids I can’t be with 24/7.
Any way, there maybe a chance to get a place in Fredonia. About 15 miles away. The people who own this place owns some up there and I may be able to get in with just rent and not rent and deposit. I mean, honestly I see their side of it all. These apartments need updating. The timing just sucks.
The job search? Not great.
Maybe the Fredonia place will work out and you won’t have to do the studio apartment. What exactly is a studio apartment? There are no bedrooms?
@happyathome nope. More or less a hotel room.
@newt316 That would definitely make it hard for when the kids come over but you may have to do it for now. Still hoping that other option works out for you, though.
I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor of my dad’s apartment, my brother was on the couch and my other brother slept in bed with him…I have NO ill memories of it…just so you know 🙂
@strawberryjelly I do that now, but with a 1 bedroom. I know its all how you look at life.
@newt316 I felt like it was camping at dad’s.