Write for the pain

My life had turned to shit in the last 4 years. I went from happy, secure family man to a broke loser whose life just keeps getting worse. Seriously there are so many things happening all at once, I can’t deal.

I can be my kids Dad, but I can never raise them how I always dreamed I could. I see all the holiday commercials and shows and they literally rip my heart out.

I’m such a failure. People think I don’t try hard enough or do enough, but I do constantly and these are the results. I wish I could find the finality in me to just end it all. I fight to stay here for my kids, but I really don’t know what to do. I can’t afford this apartment and it’s one of the cheapest around. I finally after 35 years had a job that paid a decent amount and my life revolves around it, how can I do it now? I can’t wind up living in my car again. Worse thing is I can’t afford the meds and I really don’t look forward to that all going to shit.

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November 21, 2022

💜

November 22, 2022

Maybe an even better job will come around.  I certainly hope it does.