Some days I feel like I’m grasping at what’s left of my little boy.
St. Patrick’s Day is Saturday, he’s building a leprechaun trap in hopes of being able to catch one and get some gold. I need to go buy some gold coins for this to leave him.
Easter is also coming up quickly and I need to see about sneaking out sometime this weekend and grabbing some stuff for it because during spring break I simply won’t have any time to do so.
I’m trying to keep the magic alive and going for as long as I can, the world is so ugly and crappy now a days, I want Dante to be able to hang onto the magic and innocence of his youth.
Yes, I lie to my kid. We have an Elf on the shelf, we do Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, ect. Do I think my child is going to be angry with me when he one day finds out or figures it out for himself? I don’t think so, simply because I have yet to ever meet a kid who held a grudge about their parents trying to make the fantasy come alive for them. If anything I appreciate my parents more for it, they did it up into my teenage years, I knew it was them but I smiled with the excitement anyways and played along because they got joy out of it too.
His birthday is coming up next month too, it’s crazy to think he’s going to be 8 already. My little boy isn’t so little, he still loves his snuggles but he’s getting to the stage where he doesn’t want to hold my hand anymore, he doesn’t want to give me a hug and kiss goodbye at school anymore (although he runs up to me in the halls and hugs me when he sees me… weird kid.)
Can I just have a day and go back to when he was 4 years old? When he was my cute little monster running around like crazy with his goofy smile. I’ve been able to shield him so far from the world and it’s ugliness. I remember in particular one day this past October, we were driving downtown to go to the big Halloween store which had been set up. We have a HUGE drug problem here in the city right now, people ODing every day. Right in front of the store a homeless guy had OD’d, people were gathered about his lifeless body in which had a jacket over his face. I remember telling Dante we weren’t going to the Halloween store because it wasn’t open and that we were going to the other one. We turned around and went to the smaller one with promises of going to the big store the following weekend.
In the old place that we lived in I wouldn’t let Dante play outside because there were always needles dumped in the garden, there was drug bags and pipes littering the streets. I feel horrible for living in that area which was once so nice but over the years of living there it became really bad. Now we have an area where he can run and play without the worry of such things, he can ride his bike and be safe. If only we could have moved a few years earlier but that wasn’t possible. I’m glad he has some time here to play before he grow up too much.