Feast or Famine

Isn’t that the way it goes? All or nothing?

I’m feasting now, and I’m hungry from the years-long famine.

I have to be careful not to gorge myself and choke.

My children’s work has to be after school, in the late afternoons or on the weekends, and now, after three shifts at at Group Home, a Full-Time position is being offered.

(I get the impression that good workers are hard to find in this low-paying field of work)

All or nothing.

This is, I think, one of the highest jobs I can do, working directly with people in need. Why it pays so scantly is a reflection of this societies’ ‘values. Legal thieves make more money than God and do nothing for anyone but themselves and their immediate families and are "Masters of The Universe".

(well, and the people and businesses they spend the money at)

Greedy motherfuckers. Hell has places reserved for them.  There’s an American flag planted there now, I’m sure of it.

Another province in the American Empire.

I’ve just been offered a Full-Time position in one of the Group Homes on the Graveyard shift.  Long time readers will remember that my "best hours" are those, the Vampire shifts.  7 years, delivering newspapers commercially fit em well – I CAN sleep during the day.

But, with comments like I posted in the last entry from the job working with kids, and the slightly higher pay from that, and the hours, 2,3, or 4, sometimes even six a day there, it fits my desires and abilities.

I’m going to try to juggle the jobs.  I don’t mind, in fact, I want, part time hours, because my endurance was affected by the brain injury and it is very easy to work more than I should.

I’m used to being poor,s o that’s no big deal, as long as I can pay for my car and it’s costs.

Which are pretty low: The loan payments, car insurance, gas, and oil changes and misc. maintenance.  I passed, last week, 60,007 miles on my car, meaning that 60,000 of those miles are MINE, and I have treated my car right from day one; it is in great condition and will likely not "need" any major work on it for a LONG time.  I bought it new, off the lot, four years ago in March, and go back to the dealer, where they know my car better than anyone, to get it serviced and inspected, and my car is, other than some nicks to the paint here and there, in almost new condition.

I NEVER smoke in my car, even though that’s why I always wanted a sunroof – a way for smoke to get vented with less noise.  The interior is still off-white and gray.  The seats show some spots here and there, but, no big deal,  The Slush Mats I bought right away have kept the carpets clean and new looking.  I have had 14 vehicles in this life, only 3 of them NEW, and I’ve treated my Black Beauty right from the day I bought it.  There is no reason this cannot be the last car I ever buy.  Cars these days are made better than ever, and if those used cars I had can last over 20 years, so can my Caliber.  I’m 51 now, and have had it 4 years, and there’s no good reason I can’t drive it until I’m old.

Is it "shallow" of me to have the car be one of the most important things in my life?  I do kind of think so, but I’m getting more OK with it, given what I do with it, helping other people that NEED my help.

I love my car.  Shallow?  Maybe, but it helps me help other people, and that’s a very good reason to love it.

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It takes me anywhere I wanna go.

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The car too is part of the feast I’m enjoying now.

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I’m feasting fine now, and there’s more if I want it, and I can appreciate it so much more, after the loss and famine I have Lived through.

Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, better, and more capable.

(chorus)

Onwards!

 

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