I’m feeling decidedly un-jolly today. Un-ho-ho-ho and definately NOT wanting it to be Christmas time. But see? I have no control over these things so the 32 hours of non-stop, frantic shopping goes ahead, the incessantly chirpy carols are balred out of every shop… retail assistants with red hats and gold, dangle, xmassy earrings bop around the stores and the cutting of chrissy paper and sticky tape ploughs on.
I thought I was ready. I mean… I knew it was coming and I thought I was pretty good for it all. Today I have decided that Christmas can just sink to the very bottom of Loch Ness… I’m over it.
I suppose you’re all wondering (or not) why I’m sounding like such a Scrooge McNasty… well I’m just a bit emotional and pissed off.
I dropped Emma off at the airport this morning… had to leave before she boarded the plane because the airport charges such horendous and exorbitant (there it is again Emmy-Lou) prices for parking. As it was I was there 40 minutes and was slugged $8.00. Wouldn’t you think some nice parking manager would wave the charges on Xmas Eve? Nup. So that put my early morning joy on the backburner. I was really sad to see Em go… I just didn’t want it to happen. I just kept secretly hoping that she would change her mind… I know that was so dreadfully unlikely because Virgin BLue does not refund your airfare once paid for, but hey… it’s nice to dream. So no, I didn’t want her to leave.. but she had to so that just makes me go "phooey."
Then there’s the small issue of the crap that is going on at my mates place. I wanna be there with her. I feel like crap that I’m here and she’s there. Crap, pooh, yuk… bum bum bum. My emotions are riding on an all time high. I have that lump in my throat and I just wanna get all teary.
Then I spoke to my mother… well what a charming mood she was in this morning. I’m not going to go into details of the conversation, suffice to say that I wasn’t feeling terribly chummy about her… In fact I just wanted to slam the phone down on her. Sometimes she can be so infuriatingly insensitive!
So in my already morose mood I decided to go off to Forest Hill to pick up Mike’s xmas present. I drove around looking for a park (ha-ha) and despite it only being 9.35am the car parks were jam packed. So I grumbled a little more before finding a park 2 streets away. I made the mistake of wearing my new shoes which rubbed and cut into my feet… I felt like a cripple as I plodded along. After a sushi roll and a hot chocolate I felt somewhat better, picked up Mike’s pressie and sat down to rest my poor tootsies. My phone started ringing and it was Mike seeing how I was (awwww how thoughtful). He asked if I had seen what he had bought himself with his dad’s xmas money. I said I didn’t and he told me…
In case you are confused that was a whole list of expletives that cannot be uttered. They all ran through my head at the same time. This is because Mike (in all his wisdom) went out and purchased EXACTLY what I had bought him for xmas… like… 2 identical presents. I mean, it wasn’t hard, with Mike I either buy him Playstation games (or in this instence, PSP games for the consol we have been given by my ex-boss) or clothes (but only when he is with me). So.. he went out and bought the same game I had and the exact same UMD movie.
I’m not sure why, but this was really just about all I could handle. In front of a zillions shoppers I burst into tears. I just felt like I had been walking the length of shopping centre after shopping centre searching for something for him and could not ind anything original… I was just totally fed up at not being able to buy a surprise gift. How pathetic.
So who shoudl come along whilst I was in the midst of a "full-on" strop attack? My aunt and uncle. Bloody yay. Of course they then wanted to know what was wrong and I had to pretend that I was just really overtired for nights of restless sleep. *rolls eyes*
Anyway, so I returned those gifts and bought something else. Then I beat a hasty retreat from that nasty shopping centre experience.
So that’s why I’m not really in the mood. I’m just having one of those lousy days… crap.
I realy wnated to be taking my family on holiday somewhere nice… hopping on a place and going somewhere great… but that’s not happening. I want to be able to buy Mike a present without him knowing exactly what it is… and I want to fly to Perth. I miss Em already and she’s only been gone 3 and a half hours.
So i’ll go now. Maybe I need to just meditate or something.
Have a Merry Christmas one and all… Vee