Awful Day

Today has been a nightmare. Very. Serious. Nightmare. Thank god it wasn’t worse but it was bad enough.

My alarm starts going off and I automatically hit snooze before looking. Half asleep I glance at the screen. What the hell – Are those a ton of missed calls I’m seeing? Trying to focus. Random numbers. So confused. Nobody calls me at night. Keep scrolling to a message that says “Hey mom I’m sorry but I need help ASAP”. What in the world. My heart stops. Sitting straight up I look closer. I notice blocked numbers, the hospitals numbers, my sons number. This was all 10:25 pm – 2:00 am.

I hit redial and call my 18 year old who thankfully answers. I ask what’s going on. It’s now 7 am. He was in an accident. Drinking. Wanted out of a car so he jumped out of the moving car. Then he needed a ride. In the end he needed 8 staples. He said he’s fine. Nothing about this story is fine. Nothing. I told him if this ever happens again and my phone is on silent to please call his brother who is always on his phone – He did. His brother who’s 17 wouldn’t wake me up. You’ve got to be fucking kidding? No. I ask more questions. He doesn’t remember much. He just knows he’s messed up. He’s at the place he stays now. Going to sleep.

I woke my 17 year old up in hysterics. His fucking brother could have died from a gaping head wound and he didn’t even wake me up? To say I was mad is an understatement. Irate. Psychotic. Mad. “I was going to bed and I wasn’t waking you up.” You selfish asshole. “My sister (20) said not to either.” When I was done screaming about how selfish he was and she was I went outside to bawl.

My 20 year old then found me there and got the next wrath of God. She claims she didn’t know it was that bad and said he could wake me up if he thought I needed to. Okay assholes – Here’s the rule – When anyone in your life calls you and says they are in a bad place and they need help YOU HELP THEM. If it means waking me up then do it. If it means giving them a ride DO IT. If it means calling the police to get them DO IT. Who raised these selfish, better than you assholes? WHO?

I’m still trying to wrap my head around this as the day goes on. My kids lucky he’s even alive. Then a nurse friend texts me. I text back if she’s got any information that can be shared I’d like to know. She calls. The hospital was calling as when he arrived he wasn’t able to consent to treatment. They couldn’t reach me and had no other options to consent so they proceeded. They did a CT Scan and it was fine. They took his BAC to back up their treatment and to check what they could give him for meds as he became argumentative and was attempting to refuse care. They then had to staple his 8 with 8 staples. He’s also got other injuries but no treatment needed. He appeared with one shoe. Drug in by a friend. Really messed up. Yet, my kid didn’t wake me up.

This was all preceded by the principal replying to his email asking about credit recovery to graduate. Instead of saying yeah. Keep coming let’s try. He says – No, there’s not really a chance. You should give up, try to get your HiSet. Good luck with your future. Ummmm? For real. I get where he’s coming from. But to just give up on a kid like that. What the hell. So this email was followed by the binge drinking as the kid really did want to graduate and worked so hard to even make it this far. FOR NOTHING. Drinking wasn’t the answer. At all. But can you blame him?  SMH.

I found a program he can do locally that will help him with his HiSet and a better job. He’s got a good job but a better job is always good. He just needs to sign up. I also called Job Corp to see if he qualifies and am waiting for an admissions counselor to call. I have no idea. The kid needs help. Ambition. Something. And to quit drinking.

I am SO MAD at him for putting himself in this situation and I’m just mad this is where he ended up. So mad, sad, angry, frustrated. All of it.

The 17 year old is angry he’s grounded home. I’m at a loss here. I seriously can’t believe he thought it was okay. He then says – Well it’s not my fault he was drinking and did something stupid. Correct. It’s not. But you were sober and did nothing respectable or responsible about it. You had to walk 5 feet to wake me up. FIVE. I’m most mad at him for being so judgmental and not helpful. I didn’t raise him to cast stones on others. Trust me I’m sooooooo mad at his brother and I’d of been soooooo mad at him last night. But he didn’t have the right to make that call or to say he didn’t matter because he drank. I guess he’s home until he can admit there was a problem in his actions too. (And this kids story has changed 5 times. He simply didn’t care and didn’t want to be bothered in his life to quit talking to his girlfriend and come mention it.)

We just don’t treat other people like that. It’s not okay. It will never be okay. We help people when they’re down and out. Not tell them it’s too bad.

Thank God it wasn’t worse! (And yes I also need to figure out how to set my phone to get emergency calls in the middle of the night.)

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