Last week I said I feared there would be a CPS Removal if my co-worker didn’t figure out her life and do better. Sadly, those words were far too true.
Her child’s father came back and she returned to him. Again. I ended up texting her Tuesday that if she was staying at the apartment with him she needed to come get all their stuff as that was her choice but I wasn’t okay with it. She simply said okay and got their stuff that night. I knew there were issues. I knew in my heart her son wasn’t safe and this wasn’t ideal. I made the tough choice to make a CPS Report. I’m a mandated reporter. That call sucked, but I knew it was right.
Oh if only I had any idea what truly laid behind those doors. Neither would take a drug test when CPS arrived. They were getting evicted with nowhere to go. Obviously impaired. Non-cooperative. CPS called from the residence and asked if I’d come as they were going towards an emergency referral and they would prefer placing him with someone he knew. I arrived in time to watch the shitshow – Mom asking Dad what to do. Mom being most concerned with Dad’s wants. Dad being pissed. It was just escalating to calling the police when they finally gave the boy to me and signed that we could leave voluntarily. Should mom agree she could stay with me, do all the care for her son but not be unsupervised until they have a safety plan in effect.
Fast forward – We’re on day 6. Mom has admitted they’d both used methamphetamines the day of removal but states they’ve been clean since. Yet, nobody has taken a drug test. Mom agreed to come to the house and stay to care for him. Yet, she arrives late and is basically only there for bedtime. Neither have called CPS to schedule the meeting. Neither will text or call CPS back. They’ve made numerous attempts. To say I’m pissed is an understatement. How can you just ignore your own child? How can you not try to get him back?
In the meantime – The level of neglect is so apparent and severe. I believe he’s autistic from what I’ve seen in these 6 days. However, it’s not all autism. It’s simply neglect. He won’t eat food – Literally doesn’t know how really. He wants to live off of sippy cups full of powerade and crackers. He counter surfs for crackers. He searches for crackers. Doesn’t know how to use silverware. Won’t even take a bite of most food. I finally got yogurt and a banana in him. I’ve got him switched to water during the day and only milk with meals. We try and feed him like crazy before we give in to the crackers. It is so sad. I’ve never saw an almost 3 year old at this level of being delayed or unable/willing to eat. It is very apparent he’s basically fended for himself and just had cracker boxes left for him everywhere. He self-soothes and didn’t even care about adults to begin. After 3 days he finally started actually coming to find me when he woke up. We’re making progress but boy this kid has such a long ways to go. We had to do 6 immunizations last week. He goes back in a month for more as he hadn’t had any since basically 2 months or so. Doesn’t appear he’s been to the doctor since 2 months. So, we need a well child check. Pretty sure he needs a dentist. And he needs a full developmental assessment. It’s awful.
The plan was mom would cooperate and be able to be alone with him quickly. That isn’t happening. I’ve now lined up babysitters for the next 2 weeks for my nightshifts, weekends and vacation. Thankfully, I was able to get him into daycare right away and CPS pays for it. Daycare also texts and tells me how delayed he is and the issues they are seeing. I’m sure CPS’s case will only be stronger after they go there and see him tomorrow as they need to do a check-in and I’ll be at work. I also texted Grandma and advised she should begin looking into Guardianship and what she needs to do as family is ideal and I’m not sure his parents will ever be capable. They’ve neglected this kid far too long. CPS should have stepped in a very long time ago.
So, basically I’m the proud owner of a feral 2 1/2 year old. That’s the best way to describe it. His behavior resembles a feral rescue dog who’s never been adequately fed, loved or cared for. Fearful of everything, yet craving the attention, yet not sure of it. It’s exhausting, but I cannot wait to see how well he thrives. I’ve saw a LOT of foster children over the last few years. I’ve never saw one THIS bad off. Now I just need mom to quit staying at the house if she isn’t trying. I plan to ask CPS about this tomorrow – If she doesn’t meet with them and do the drug test, etc. can I request her to leave and only little dude stay? There’s just no reason for her to be there if she isn’t working on getting better. None. Zero. Zilch.
Ohhhhh and our IVF consult is Wednesday – Nothing like the worst time to even begin IVF. I’m going to ask about a priming protocol. I’d actually like to prime for up to 90 days. I don’t feel I can do a full cycle right now with a 2 year old. Maybe I can. I have no idea. I’m lucky I do have great friends to help. But I’m okay with priming for 90 days before retrieval. At the least I need to skip a cycle or two while life calms down. But that may be good for me.