TOTW35 – What People Get Wrong About Me

It’s hard for people to get things wrong about me, because I’m that lady standing in front of you in line at the DMV or the grocery store who’ll tell you her life story before you can resist.  I don’t keep things private or secret.  I’m not afraid of being judged.  I’ve climbed a jagged, rocky, mountain.  I’ve fallen a few times, and have the scrapes, bruises, and scars to show for it.  But I’ve gotten this far and that’s something.  So I just put it all out there.

 

Now, with my history of shitty relationships, there were definitely those who thought that I was desperate for a man.  I can’t really blame them for thinking that.  I was always looking for someone to treat me like I had some value.  My family didn’t treat me that way when I was in their custody.  I got married at 18, and he certainly didn’t treat me as if I had value.  But I don’t need to retell that story.

But I wasn’t desperate.  I was too nice.  My therapist told me that’s why I have anxiety.  I was always afraid of hurting people or disappointing anyone.  I stayed in relationships for stupid reasons, mostly because I thought that’s what was expected of me.  I didn’t want to upset my mother or my siblings, or I didn’t want to hurt the partner.  It was never that I thought I needed the man.

So…. yeah.  That’s what people get wrong about me.  I was never desperate.  I was just too nice.

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October 12, 2018

I hear you

October 12, 2018

I like it that you put it out there. Why waste time?

October 12, 2018

@lakeland, exactly.  Life is too short for silly games.

October 13, 2018

I am sort of the same way…I am a people pleaser and I hate it when people don’t get along and everyone is always mad at someone.  So I have always came last for everything……

October 14, 2018

I totally understand.

October 16, 2018

I think that it’s very easy to judge a situation from the outside. I catch myself sometimes going, “Why is she with him?” about people, but I’ve been in so many situations where people probably thought that of me, and they had no idea what it was like being inside it. I think our perspective changes if we’re involved or not, because feelings are not logical, but they are very strong, you know? Anyway, I’ve once read not to take things personal, as people approach us based on who they are, and it’s about them, not us. Easier said than done, but when done, life gets easier. 😉

October 16, 2018

@free_spirit_gal, I agree.  I don’t really let things bother me so much, anymore.  While it would be nice to win the lottery or something, I have pretty much everything I could ever want.  Who cares what other people think?

October 16, 2018

@oniongirl Haha true.