Day #27 – Just Rambling Thoughts

Well, not much happened today. I spent a little while talking to my mom and gave her some food that I can’t eat. Disability gets me two meals a day that comes in frozen boxes. The problem is that I can’t east most of it due to crohn’s disease. So the stuff I can’t eat I give to my parents. I asked my mom to go to the store today and pick me up some “feel good” food. I asked for a couple of frozen pizzas and some egg rolls. Not a lot but sometimes I just feel in the need to eat something savory. Tasty food is sort of a pick me up.

I painted some more on the sign for N. I find that when I start thinking about her and missing her, working on a project that means something to me about her really helps. I found out the hard way today that acrylic paint seeps through paper towels and thus, part of the sign got stained with a dark green color that I was using for the turtle’s shell. I tried washing it off with water, and it worked a little bit. Unfortunately, it had pretty much dried on so I had to use sand paper to get the rest off. Nothing is really damaged. It just means that I have to stain the sanded area again. It just means extra time to get it done. The painting part is almost finished. I just have to do the head and the flippers. Then I’ll stain over the sanded parts… and then… THEN I can finally put the sealant on. LOL! I’m hoping to have it hanging up by Saturday or Sunday.

I got an update from Amazon and the stuff I ordered should be here tomorrow. It’s like they waited for the last minute to ship it out… over night shipping. I ordered the stuff a week ago. Oh well. But I’m excited to have it arrive. When it get’s here, I can FINALLY work on some spoons. I need to finish up the project for N first because I can’t get sawdust all over the sign while it’s drying. I’m just excited to have projects to do.

I’m worried about my parents. I mean, they’re doing fine, but they are certainly getting old. My dad is 76 and my mom is 67. I keep reading about people passing away in their 70’s and people younger than my dad are in nursing homes. I hope they’re around for a few more years because I’ll miss them a lot and it’ll be really lonely for me. I’ll have no family then. I have no contact or anything in common with my extended family back east. My sister and I were never close. I lost my kids in 2006, so, it’s just me. It’ll be hard to deal with because now even N has abandoned me. But I’ll be fine I know because God will be with me. It’s just hard being stuck in my  home and not being able to go anywhere, so it’s hard to even make friends. My social life is so pathetic that most of the time I get excited when going to the doctor’s office because I get to interact with other people.

Well, I always dreamed of living it alone, survivorman like in the wilderness. Off grid kind of stuff. I wouldn’t of had people around then either, so I guess I’ll just pretend that this is what it is.

I hope everyone is having a good mid week.

Love you N.

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2 weeks ago

My dad is in his 80’s and my mom in her 60’s (don’t ask… I was an affair baby) and while I don’t worry about her due to anger issues, I do worry about him. Also frozen pizza is love!