Oswego

July 27, 2000

Diaries of youth

The Open Diary community is a fascinating place. There are many thousands of people who are keeping diaries here, or at least have made the effort to start one. They come and go. But one thing that has struck me in recent months is the enormous proliferation of teenagers’ diaries, mostly in the age range 17-19 (there is a reason for this, I think), but younger teenagers crowd in as well. There seems to be some powerful force or attraction pulling all these young wannabe writers to OD, and, unfortunately, older potential diarists come here, look at the lists of most recently updated entries, and probably leave in a hurry, thinking that this isn’t a very mature or inviting place to be. They are quite wrong, of course.

Despite the preponderance of teen diaries at the main OD site, this hasn’t discouraged many serious and reflective adults who have come here and been greatly privileged to know some very fine and caring people through reading their diaries. I’ve told people about it, and they get drawn in as quickly as I did. In fact, beginning in December, 1998 I started reading OD entries big time, and by May of the following year I had decided to start my own. I don’t know why it took so long. Now it seems as much a part of my life as air, sunlight, water, and food.

Sadly, there seem to be fewer and fewer older diarists, particularly in my age group and older. I regret this because there is so much common ground and so much to share among people who have been traveling down this road of life for many years. I wish there were more.

But I think it is amazing that so many younger diarists have taken to this writing urge in such numbers and with such enthusiasm. I discovered during the years I wrote daily for newspapers that I loved having people read my columns and features stories. It was a way to communicate with readers, and I alone most often chose who to interview and what kinds of stories to write. Years went by after I left newspaper work before I started writing again in another journal I maintained, and then in OD.

I find myself seriously engaged in reading the diaries of some of the young writers here from time to time because their stories are so compelling and their writing so honest and candid. Bluntness. That’s got to be a hallmark of youth. Say anything that’s on your mind. Talk about relationships and sex or being with friends or breaking up with boyfriends or girlfriends. The lesser writers are focused on the banal aspects of their lives and present chronologies of things they have done during a particular day. Even this can be interesting. Others really get into writing and pour their hearts and souls into entries that have readers following what they write avidly as the days, weeks, and months progress. The anonymity allows them to be sometimes brutally honest about themselves, their families and their friends. Sometimes it’s too much to read and bear. The anguish and hurt are too great. There is a lot of pain, loneliness, and depression among the young out there in the OD community, but somehow people stumble on their stories and try to be a friend who cares enough to read and leave supportive notes.

I started writing my first journal when I was 19, and then as now, it was a pivotal year. I was a sophomore in college. I was on my own and away from home. I didn’t know who I was. I had some disastrous attempts at relationships. But I had my whole life ahead of me, and my success or failure seemed to depend on whether I got acceptable grades and a good GPA and didn’t flub anything too badly. Always in the back of my mind was the fear that without that degree I was going nowhere. There was pressure to keep on with my coursework year after year.

So OD is also a place where many 18 and 19 year olds come because they are at that first major crossroads in their lives. They have left friends they knew all through high school. They are working or going to college. They are leaving home or breaking up with someone they thought they loved. They and other teenage diarists sometimes see their lives as the centers of surrounding clusters of galaxies and stars. Their diaries become the embodiment in cyberspace of this unwitting self-preoccupation that comes to life for all to read, if they should desire to do so. But that is life. Online diaries are people opening themselves up to others. They are autobiographical. And, although most diarists don’t have too many regular readers, the true-blue ones who are faithful become as valuable as any real-life friends, seemingly. That’s a powerful thought to contemplate. The young invite readers to join them on their personal voyages of discovery, just as we who are older do. In this sense, age makes no difference.

Ever take a look at just the titles of these youthful diaries? The names themselves seem to tell it all. I have gone through a list of titles just in one section fo the “B’s” and have created below a poem about the youth at OD, based just on what they call their own life stories. This is only a tiny sample, but it is probably representative to some extent.

“Fleeing from life,
it’s a crazy life I live.
Just me and
My so-called life confessions.
Dreamer.
Scattered.
Is this really life?

“Love’s a game.
Between normality and insanity,
a rock feels no pain.
Normal people scare me.

“LOVE, SEX and LIFE —
The Life of Me.
Euphoria.
Absolutely, positively me.
Fighting for life:
Welcome to the jungle!

“Smile, it ain’t that bad.
I’m working on it.

“Happiness.”

I’m 15, and I know I have some pretty immature things in my diary, but I can be a very good writer. Many of us can be, we just chose to act out in ways we feel make us happy. As silly as it may seem, we just wanna a

very true…my youngest daughter, 14, has a diary on here also…i hope my others will eventually write…lots of good teen writers…smiles and hugs…

thank you for finally giving some of us some credit. it’s about time . . . :o)

thank you

Thank you. It’s wonderful to see that not everyone passes teenagers off as immature, naive fools.

great entry mate glad you appereactie our writtings i admitt i dont read many of the older diarists but i think you’ve inspired me to have a good one mate

The biggest difference I note is in the teen diaries they complain of time dragging on and being bored, whereas we older folk seem to remark on how time has flown and how little time we have.

You are right. Some of the kids make me laugh, some make me shake my head and some break my heart. They are not as naive as we were.

This is a great entry, Oswego, and I think you have approached a subject that is one that is of great interest and value…all of these young people have something of great worth to say. Love

The first diary I read was one of a young lady who is 18 and I still read her every day. I enjoy the young folks – but I do like to find someone near my age. I’m 52 by the way….nice to make your acquaintance.

You are insightful as always! I love observations of diarists on diaries; the subject endlessly fascinates me (wonder why? lol). Thank you also for your friendship; the coast has cleared.

craziechik

July 28, 2000

Wonderful entry. Love your writing style. Tis a shame that I do not have such exciting titles to my entries! Smile & have a lovely day! 🙂

one place we all can come together…young & old alike…& of course us who are somewhere in between:)

as always you have wonderful things to say..i cannot praise you enough for your beautiful entries.

Wonderful observations, and very true. How dramatic everything seems at 19. But I’d give anything to have the figure I had then! (laughing)

I mostly visit diaries around my age. But I also like to visit younger people’s. Some of them are really mature. Try Complex, he is amazing, refelcted. Love yr diary. Have a great weekend!

itsbreeze

July 29, 2000

yes, I think the older writers are much more guarded and less free…

itsbreeze

July 29, 2000

(P.S. I took a trip to Sumter last June!)

WebWoman

July 29, 2000

Strange I was just saying the same thing in my diary -I love reading teen diarists – used to be one – but there’s room for us middlies too!

A great entry, O. I read a few teen diaries, too, and I’ve told some young writers I know about OD as well.

Why do you think that it is that as we grow older, we begin to prevaricate from our straightforward evaluation on our lives?

I love the poem.

Thank you for that. I know we teens can be pretty trivial at times (I know I sure can) but we can be good writers sometimes. Thanks for not endorsing the stereotypes about us.

What a wonderful light to shine on the teens of the OD. Truly age doesn’t matter. Those avid readers of my diary do mean the world to me and even if I’m not quite depressed, I am at a crossroad in my life.

I love your entry. Very well written! I am 16 yrs.old & have been writing in a diary almost my whole life. I don’t consider myself a great writer or anything, but it’ great to get feelings out. I wish there were more…

…adults on OD who felt the same as you. A lot of young people are blown off too quickly. Take care,

Super entry. I’m an older ODist:)

I’m an older diarist too! I love it here! Thanks for your kind note to me! Great entry! We do have some great young diarists here! Love,

If we leave ourselves open, there is much to be learned from each other, regardles of age.

WebWoman

July 30, 2000

Thanks for the note. It’s really neat to get acknowledged & feel the people out there are real. Lots to read in yr diary!

Bramble

July 30, 2000

Very good piece of insight!

Well said. I think however, the OD main page changes have left the raunch, whether from young or old, on the back pages, and I can find more interesting content to read here now. Very well said.

you’re welcome. i hope you do

You continue to impress me! Does it come easily for you, or do you struggle to find the appropriate words to convey your meaning? I feel my vocabulary has diminished with age. Perhaps grad school will rectify that.

Your generosity contrasts with the irritable entries I’ve written on this subject. You’re a good man.

Yes, I’ve noticed more and more younger people on here. It’s fascinating to share their lives with them. Sometimes it reminds of when I was younger and not allowed to speak my thoughts.

Wonderful entry, Oswego, beginning to end. I’ve missed visiting.

I enjoy reading young people’s diaries because of the insights it gives me into how my own children may be thinking – both about the world and about their parents :))

It’s nice to see an adult who sees not all teens write about stupid things. Thank you very much.

There’s always a few gems in every age group. +soft smile+ I think you’re a worthy gem for a 49 year old man.

Amanda Cayhill

August 2, 2000

Often, I’ve looked at the titles and thought that combined, they would make for a great poem. In fact, I once did this same exercise with Robert Frost. The titles alone seem to tell a story.

Extremely well said. I have a 14 year-old on my favorites list. She comes up with some really cute stuff, and she helps me remember–recapture–a little of those days. I’ve kept a diary since 4th grade!

Willy & Wilma

August 4, 2000

I find many of the teen agers here really interesting. My age group is at the other end and there aren’t many there. Some pretend to be 99,etc.,but their mannerisms and topics give them away

wanderlust (2)

August 8, 2000

Great piece O. I’ve neglected reading many new diaries since I returned in June. I seldom read teen diaries, too many I started were superficial, cocky or just plain stupid. I just don’t have the patience right now. Maybe I’ll ck a few

It can be rather exasperating to read through grammatically incorrect, exaggerated teenaged diaries from time to time. However, it’s nice to be appreciated. Discovering adult realites can be a very harsh thing.

Edelweis

April 1, 2002

This is a great and interesting entry! You are so very gifted and write this so well! I like to read their entries. It tells so much about the teenagers themselves, but also very much about our world. I often try to compare their lives with ours when we were young. Wondering…is it so much different now? Instead of reading on I will print this and read it again with a last glass of water! :o)<

Edelweis

April 1, 2002

You composed a “wonderful” poem! It sounds so powerful!! I like the way you put the names together! Take care,