Its intresting how my old ideological self. morphed into this bitter self loathing person, who instead of wanting to save the world now just wishes it too end, no surviors no pain apparently. I’ve now turned into dark willow lol. I drank too much last night, ended up being mean had a facebook message this morning highlighting that.
Ended up crying on street corner then in hospital, they used diasapem to make me calm. when I was calm the Psycologist refered me to outpatients and was semi convinced after a conversation about sheffield. He had lived there two a street over a few years later than me – small world I suppose… went to work today despite getting home about half 4 in the morning.
Was aggressive and obnoxious last night pissed my friends off. Not sure I’ll go again to that night not sure I’ll do anything again, I’m so tired of everything.
Booked the next 3 days off work see if I feel better after next weekendm had to come in today despite that I’m crying at my computer and not doing work.
Think I’ll slip away into nothing It’ll be better that way.