It’s been a rough ride lately…
First, the physical therapy. It was a fucking joke. They did NOTHING but massage my ass and thigh a couple of times. No real rehab-type exercises. This costs me a $30 co-pay for 45 minutes of not much. I mean, the ass massages are nice (don’t misunderstand) but they’re not worth $30. I gave them one last chance and asked what my “treatment plan” was. I got the runaround but no real answer. So, I quit the PT, went on YouTube, found some PT’s doing a therapy video for foot drop and that’s what I’m doing…
Healing thy own damn self.
Because I am just so over all this shit.
I also ordered an ankle brace to keep my ankle straight before I fall and break my face. Nobody at that PT place could do that for me, either. They said I’d need to see a orthotist and for that I need a prescription and no, they couldn’t help me with that, either. So that would be another co-pay or two and a co-pay for some sort of prescription orthotic device. Fuck that. I have Amazon prime.
And then there is my mother…
Lord… I don’t even know where to start.
She’s been acting batshit crazy since Trump was running for POTUS and it’s gotten worse ever since. I thought it was just the Trump/Hillary thing but that’s not it. Her depression is rearing it’s ugly head again. When that happens, her depression manifests itself in anger and obsessiveness. She doesn’t realize it when it happens, but it drives me to drink!
She went to see her doctor today and since my names on all her shit, I called ahead of that and let the doctor know what’s been going on (on the down low, of course). Hopefully he didn’t out me. I would have talked to my mom about this personally, but the way she’s been with me, it would cause yet another argument. Well, a one sided argument. I don’t argue back–but she doesn’t let go of ANYTHING. She’s still trying to have a debate with me about Trump.
No can do. I don’t do politics or religion with anybody. I know better.
But with my mother, it doesn’t matter if YOU don’t want to discuss something. She still discusses it AT YOU whether you participate in the conversation or not.
Not to make my dad out to be any kind of saint because he’s dead now, because he wasn’t, but I used to think it was all him that caused their fighting and now I can see how a lot of that started. She’d pick and pick and pick until he couldn’t take it anymore. She doesn’t let up. She’s like a child trying to get her own way–even if it is running YOUR life. And sometimes she pisses and moans about the dumbest shit… Too much time on her hands but that’s apparently the way she wants it? She has a few friends, she has money and she drives. Nothing’s forcing her to hang around the house day and night and yet, she holes up in her bedroom all day and night except for the occasional luncheon or trip to Kohl’s.
My mom’s 75th birthday is tomorrow. I just want her to be happy for the rest of her years. And I want her to live her life and quit obsessing about what I do, the neighbors she hates, my aunt’s hoarding and everything else she worries about and concerns herself with that isn’t any of her concern and just LIVE HER LIFE.
I love my mom but when she gets like this I tend to avoid her at all costs, which isn’t easy to do since she lives with me. I’m her only child which makes matters that much worse.
Pray for me, peeps.