The Mind Game The Heart Plays

She and I both know of the game that we play.  We don’t necessarily refer to our joint antics as a “game”, but we both know that we’re playing type of a game with each other, a game in which she and I are uncannily in sync.  Suffice it to say that we are exceptionally well-versed in our respective roles in said game, which when played well, can feel like we’re in the middle of a kind of dance where rhythm and timing are not only essentially, but greatly appreciated when everything plays out without a single hitch. 

It’s nothing like playing and reading from a script.  We’re not having the same conversation over and over again.  We’re not mindlessly going through the motions.  Maybe we’re talented enough to choreograph our moves based on how the other takes steps and moves about?            

Typically, she initiates the conversation and immediately, I’m drawn in.  At first, it’s her voice that captivates me almost immediately and I can’t help but listen to her, no matter what it is she wishes to relay to me.  Maybe it’s something mundane?  Maybe it’s something crucial that I need to know moments into the conversation?  Perhaps, she just wants to hear my voice?  The truth is, the reason behind our interaction is irrelevant.  I don’t care what it is she has to tell me or wants to tell me.  Just the sound of her voice is more than enough to melt my heart and she does it each and every time she says anything to me.  In some weird way, I’m helpless to her charms, whether or not I fight it. 

She always wants my opinion.  She cares about what I think.  She constantly wants to know what I’m thinking. 

I know these things and this is part of the game.  I don’t give her these things immediately.  She and I both know that she has to wait.  The conversation has to continue until I’m ready to open up and let her know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling.  I listen to her words and respond as I deem appropriate.  I also know that she can only be patient for so long.  She will eventually cut to the proverbial chase and as me directly for the answer for which she seeks. 

“Hey, answer my question?  I know you heard me earlier?”

The game continues.

“What question?  I don’t remember you asking me anything.  Anyway, as I was saying…”

We take a sidestep.  Of course, I remember the question she asked.  I already know how I would respond to the question, the very question I claimed I did not to recall that she had asked.  My answer was already locked and loaded.  This is where I test her and see if she’ll ask the question again or if she’ll get mad.  She will usually ask the question again and we resume talking.  If she wishes to get upset or even slightly perturbed, this is where I will hit her with some kind of compliment, making sure that I lower my tone slightly, to where she can clearly hear that I’m speaking to her differently.

“You know, you sound cute and at times especially sexy when you want to get upset, but can’t muster the energy to become fully enraged.  You’re very cute like that”.

Upon hearing me speak to her in that lowered tone, which I know she absolutely loves, she forgets that she wanted to get mad at me in the first place.  Yes, I will admit that I’m using one of her weaknesses against her. 

Just as I am captivated by her voice, she is completely enthralled with mine.  She had once admitted to me that whenever I speak to her, to her, my voice sounds like poetry.  Maybe it’s the tone that I use?  Maybe it’s my cadence?  Maybe this comes from the kinds of words that I use?  Regardless of what it might be, just with the power of my words, in some way, I am able to hold her captive myself.            

Eventually, I answer her question.  Maybe I tell her that I forgot what she had asked, in what I know she will question and know that I am lying?  Maybe I will openly admit to her, without pause or hesitation, that I heard her question the first time and admit to her that I was playing dumb and avoiding answering her?  Truthfully, my response does not matter because she knows me.  She will know that I was lying when I said I forgot what she had asked.  She will also know that I was deliberately waiting and taking my sweet time to answer her.

The conversation continues in this fashion, where we will say things to each other, think about how we can surprise and catch the other off-guard with the next sentence, and see if we can either stun or even flatter the other.

My tone changes as I deem necessary.  Our ballet of words continues, whether this is to go on for a few hours or even just a few minutes.  We cherish whatever time we have, even if it’s just exchanging words by phone or even text message.               

Our interaction is a game, with many nuances and intricacies.  It’s not necessarily complex, but it is always fun to play because obviously we know the rules, but the fun comes from trying to throw the other off, all the while exchanging niceties and all sorts of pleasantries.  Time conversing with her is always time well spent.

Let the games begin, as I always say.