Two All-Beef Patties And A Few Morons

I can’t seem to regulate my body temperature.  One minute, I’m comfortable.  The next, I find myself freezing.  It has been rainy here the last couple of days, so there is a slight chance that I’m overreacting.  Then again, there’s still a chance that I’m right and it really is ridiculously cold out.  Either way, I’m trying to remain in that comfortable state. 

I went outside again today. 

I also still don’t have much of an appetite, but because I had to eat lunch and was too lazy to make anything at home, I traveled to the nearby McDonald’s, which also happens to be one of my least favorite ones in the immediate area.  I also needed to pick up my medication at the neighborhood CVS Pharmacy, which is across the street from this McDonald’s, so it all just seemed very convenient to combine into the one trip.  Work smarter, not harder, as they say.

I rarely encounter any challenges with picking up my medication and today’s trip went smoothly.  It was all routine and not really noteworthy.  I went in, got in line at the pharmacy, gave my name, paid for my medication, and was out the door.  The whole thing took just under 15 minutes, though I didn’t actually go through the motions of timing it all.  I’m estimating here.  It didn’t take long. 

Now, the run to McDonald’s turned out to be quite the challenge, when it didn’t need to be, but when you deal with people (or at least when I deal with people), dumb things almost always happen.  I turn into the McDonald’s parking lot and make my way to the drive-thru, which I have hated ever since most McDonald’s restaurants did the whole “two-window, two driveway” drive-thru system.  By having two driveways, you now have to wait and hope that the driver in the opposing driveway isn’t an asshole who won’t let you in.  This kind of drive-thru, at least to me, seems to make things take that much longer and I’d sooner just avoid the headache.  Today, I was convinced that there wouldn’t be many people out and that I’d be able to get in and out of that McDonald’s drive-thru without incident or trauma.  That, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t had a Big Mac in well over a year.

I was wrong.

Well, partly wrong, anyway.

It truly has been over a year since I ate a Big Mac.  But that whole “in and out” thing with the drive-thru?  Yeah, I was sorely mistaken. 

The parking lot was not full, which led me to believe that there much going on at this McDonald’s.  Another one of those damn small SUV’s happened to be in front of me and for whatever the reason, the driver couldn’t seem to make the life-altering decision as to which drive-thru lane to enter.  So rather than choose one, the left or the right, the driver stopped right in front of the left one and effectively treated the left lane entrance as a parking space.  The driver did not move, but their brake lights were on.  I drove towards and entered the right lane.  The moron who was still parked in front of the left land entrance would remain there for what felt like a minute, as I waited for someone to start talking to me from the right lane speaker. 

Nothing.  Nothing at all. 

So, the idiot in the SUV finally decided that they’re going to choose the left lane and within seconds of their doing so, someone starts talking to them on that speaker and I’m assuming, proceeds to take their order. 

This prompts me to call out to the speaker directly in front of me.

Hello?

Finally, I get someone to acknowledge my presence and take my order.  Because I’m already questioning the intelligence of everyone around me, I said as little as possible, as to not do anything that could confuse this guy and have him screw up my order. 

I thought I kept it simple.

A number one meal with a Coke. 

Before he could tell me what my total was, I proceeded to drive forward and do my damnedest to get in front of the indecisive retard in that SUV.  I got in front of that SUV and made my way to the first window.  I paid for my meal and do so without any incident or confusion.  I pull up to the second window, from where I am given my medium Coke.  I am then asked to park in Space #4, presumably because some part of my order isn’t quite ready yet.  My guess is that my fries weren’t done, but I didn’t bother to ask because I was asked to wait for something and whether I knew what it was or not, it wasn’t going to make my wait any shorter.  So to Space #4, I go.

The waiting area in the parking lot is located just to the right of the drive-thru exit.  There was a car in Space #1.  Space #2 also had a car parked in it.  Space #3 was occupied.  And damn it, wouldn’t you know, some dumb ass in another SUV was parked in Space #4.  Each of these spaces is clearly marked as being a pick-up space for people who are waiting for orders, but apparently, these signs did little to deter people from parking there, as though these specially-marked spaces weren’t marked for a reason.

I parked in Space #5, which was the left-most space in this parking lot waiting area.

I didn’t want to make it look like I was staring into the SUV that was parked in Space #4, where I was supposed to have parked, but I took a quick glance to my right before looking away.

Smaller dark blue SUV.  Tinted windows.  Two people inside, one in the driver’s seat, another in the back seat, though not directly behind the driver.  The window behind the driver was down nearly all the way.  The driver had a cell phone in their left hand.  Couldn’t see what the passenger in the back seat was doing.   

My next thought was very simple, though also a distinct possibility. 

“There’s a chance that one of these McDonald’s employees is going to approach the dumb asses in this SUV and think that they’re the ones waiting for MY order”. 

I had to keep my eye on this situation, all without lowering my window.  And damn it, wouldn’t you know that I was right. 

An older woman, senior citizen no doubt, wearing a McDonald’s uniform approached that SUV and nearly gave them my order.  I lowered my window as she spoke with the driver and told the old woman that she had my order in her hand.  Whether she wanted to hear it or not, I also told her that that SUV was already parked in Space #4, to where I was relegated to park in Space #5.  She gave me my food and once her arm was no longer in my car, I proceeded to roll up my window.  I then backed out and got the hell out of there.  I don’t care if anyone in that SUV heard me either.  Nothing I said was wrong.         

I headed home and have remained inside ever since. 

I dislike people and for the time being, I can’t stand those smaller SUV’s and the mental defectives who drive them.    

If I’m not nearly being struck by an SUV in a parking lot, then I have another SUV needlessly blocking the McDonald’s drive-thru.  Then, for whatever the reason, another SUV wants to park in that same McDonald’s parking lot, in a space that is clearly marked (in English) and reserved for people waiting to pick up their food.

In the end, the Big Mac was okay.  Tastes the same as it always had.  The fries were excellent, though they didn’t seem to be especially fresh, like they had just come out of the fryolator.  Still, they had me waiting for something. 

I’m more than willing to wait another year before I eat another Big Mac.  At this point, I’ll do anything I can to avoid going anywhere near another McDonald’s drive-thru.   

I’m also going to avoid outside again today and subjecting myself to people. 

I don’t know why everything has to be such a fucking adventure. 

People definitely don’t help, that’s for damn sure.