Valuable Time Wasted

For these next two days, the department is putting on what is supposed to be an annual staff development “thing”.  I don’t know what the official name of this event is, so I’ll just go with “thing”.  Ever since this thing was first announced, I dreaded having to go.  Apparently, this is a mandatory thing so now I’m professionally obligated to be there. Not even catastrophic injury can get me out of this either.  I’ve threatened many times to step on a landmine or hurl myself from a flight of stairs.  It does not matter. Christina says I have to go, broken bones, mangled extremities, or what have you.  Though I am being paid to be there, I would still prefer not to go. It’s forced socializing, which for me, is the worst kind of socializing.   

I found out that Carmen went to this thing today.  She texted me this morning to see if maybe I was there and just hiding from her.  She’s cute, but no, I wasn’t there.  I’m slated to go this horrendous event tomorrow and I told her that.  So what could have been a worthwhile event for us to spend time together ends up falling by the wayside. If there was any way I could have gone, I would have. But in the end, this is a missed opportunity, one that I wish I could have taken advantage of.  Indeed, we probably should have coordinated with each other, but we didn’t.   

I think what really messed things up for me was that I had committed to helping another coworker, only for this coworker to suddenly and almost randomly decide that my presence and assistance were no longer needed for today. It apparently never occurred to this coworker that maybe she could have let me know of her intent to cancel in a timelier manner, rather than do it at the last damn minute. By the time she felt compelled to tell me that she no longer needed me, much of my morning had been wasted, being that I was waiting for her.  Little did I know that she couldn’t have been bothered to let me know sooner than she did was because she figured that staying asleep was more important than preventing me from wasting my time.  I lost so much time this morning, when I could have been so much more productive than I ended up being. I can never recover that time lost, but the time I lost this morning could have easily been prevented.  Easily prevented.  That whole common courtesy thing?  Yeah, that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. 

I don’t see Carmen that often, being that we work in different offices now. Sure, we maintain contact by text message and phone call, but none of that can compare to being in someone’s direct presence.  Maybe if we had coordinated our schedules, things might have played out differently today? As much as I am not motivated to go to this event tomorrow, Carmen could have very well been my motivation. Maybe just a little? Had a certain coworker utilized a bit of common sense and courtesy and not wasted my time this morning, maybe I could have spent the day with Carmen?  It was definitely a possibility. As far as that concept of common courtesy…well, it’s not as common as one might think.  I remember when it used to be.  In fact, at times, it’s damn near infrequent and almost impossible to come by, like actual midgets in that dreadful live-action Snow White remake. 

But as it stands, a good chunk of my morning was wasted today. Tomorrow is going to suck, in what I suppose I could also consider another waste of time.  Friday is on the horizon, I suppose.  I just have to hide my irritation tomorrow and not make it glaringly obvious that I don’t want to be there. Maybe sunglasses would help? Even in the midst of anticipated overcast tomorrow, I’d be willing.  I’m always willing to hide my eyes, especially if it’ll allow me to mask how I’m feeling. 

No one’s looking into the windows to my soul.