Why Ruin A Classic?

Having been in my gaming infancy during the 1980’s, I dabbled in a variety of video games from multiple genres. In particular, I have enjoyed driving/racing games. There was one game that I always enjoyed, whether it was watching it in action at the local arcade or even playing the lesser and somewhat inferior home ports. The game to which I am referring is Sega’s Outrun.  At first, I didn’t want to believe it either, but don’t take my word for it.  Check out the link below.  Apparently, this is going to be a thing.

https://www.polygon.com/news/562889/outrun-movie-michael-bay-sydney-sweeney-sega-universal

Outrun is a racing game that was first released in 1986, which features a convertible Ferrari traveling through various locales around the world.  All races are timed and the goal is to reach the next stage before time runs out.  Each completed race consists of five stages.  If time should run out before the next stage is reached, the game ends.  It was always a good time, though the difficulty would spike towards the latter stages of any given race.

Enter 2025. Someone has decided that this wonderful racing game needed to have a movie adaptation. Outrun DOES NOT need to be made into a movie. It’s a fine game all by itself. A movie will not help the game in the slightest. The world didn’t need a movie made after the “board game”, Battleship, but somebody thought that that was a good idea.  It wasn’t.  The world doesn’t need an Outrun movie either.

Now, I will admit that the powers that be did an excellent job in casting Sydney Sweeney for this movie (see above). She’s very easy on the eyes and I’m sure that she’ll do great. What role will she play? I couldn’t tell you because I have no idea.  You see, Outrun doesn’t really have a story.  The game only features a man driving the Ferrari and a woman sitting next to him in the passenger seat. Sweeney will probably be THAT woman. Beyond this, there’s no telling where this movie is going to go or what it will be about. I don’t really care, but I guess Sydney Sweeney will be in it. Still, this will not motivate me, in the slightest, to watch this movie.

Still, this trend needs to stop. Not the casting of sexy women in movies, I’m not referring to that. What needs to stop are the video game-themed movies that are based on games that have little, to no, story line. That Minecraft movie was retarded. As I said earlier, Battleship didn’t need to be a movie. And now, Outrun is getting the movie treatment.  Great.

I rarely go to the movies. Outrun won’t help get me there either, at least not anytime soon.

In staying true to my true gamer self, I’d sooner just take a few quarters and throw them into any coin-op version of Outrun.

That’s a good time, all day, any day.

An Outrun movie?  I highly fucking doubt it.