Hoops Writing Club: 5th Assignment*

Since I was writing a short story for a bi-weekly fan fiction contest that I enjoy participating in… I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I made this a Hoops submission at the same time since this had a fair bit of dialogue, which was this week’s prompt.

Enjoy, and have a great weekend everyone!


“Good evening, I have a reservation.”

“Your name?” the maître d’ asked without looking up.

“Kent.” He answered. “Clark Kent.”

The maître d’ checked the log and then straightened up and gave a short respectful bow when he realized who had made the reservation. “Good evening, Mr. Kent and welcome to Le Chateau. I’m afraid your guest hasn’t arrived yet. Would you like to wait at the bar?”

“That would be fine.” Clark replied as he followed the maître d’ to the bar. Just after he sat down, he ordered a club soda. Clark sat there for a few minutes drinking his soda wondering how long it would take for his guest to arrive, but it didn’t take long for someone to come along and occupy his time.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Clark turned around to see the all too familiar scowl of Lois Lane, but this time it was complimented by a lovely cocktail dress. “I’m here to meet a friend for dinner.”

“A friend?” Lois repeated, “If I really believed that, which by the way I don’t… I’d say you’re here to squeeze in on my story. Why else would you be here at a place like this?

“A place like this?” Clark repeated.

“No offense Clark, but this establishment is way above your pay grade.”

She was right but the location wasn’t his idea. “Lois if I was going to bud into your investigation, I’d tell you about it. I’m really here for personal reasons.”

“And what would those be?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Kent.”the maître d’ said as he stepped in. “Is there a problem here?” he looked over at Lois when he emphasized the word problem. Lois was stunned when she realized that the maître d’ had actually come over to make sure she wasn’t bothering Clark.

“No, we’re fine.” Clark answered. “Thank you.”

“Very good, Sir.” the maître d’ replied. “I also wanted to let you know that your dinner guest will be arriving shortly. His chopper will be landing on the roof very soon.”

“Chopper?” Lois repeated.

“Oh boy,” Clark sighed as he suddenly felt the urge to order something stronger from the bar.

Lois turned to Clark after the maître d’ had left. “Who are you meeting here?”

“I told you, I’m meeting a friend.” Clark answered.

“And he’s landing here by chopper?” Lois repeated. “How do you know anyone that can afford a chopper, let alone fly one anywhere he wants in Metropolis?”

“By chance actually.” Clark answered.

“Clark!” a voice called from behind. They both turned to see a man in a tuxedo waving to them as he walked in to the large lobby. The maître d’ didn’t even try to stop the man from entering and simply stepped aside. He quickly walked up to the bar and shook Clark’s hand, “Sorry I’m late. I jetted in here as soon as I could.”

Lois seemed to be taken back as the fact that the arrival of Clark’s ‘friend’ seemed to authenticate his story, but she was still eager to obtain more information. “I’m sorry and you are?”

The man noticed the abrupt manners and smiled. “You must be Lois.” He held out his hand to greet her. “Bruce Wayne.”

Lois’ shock was obvious. “As in ‘Wayne Enterprises’ Bruce Wayne?”

“The very same.” Clark confirmed.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” Lois quickly snapped.

“We met in college.” Clark answered.

“That’s right.” Bruce confirmed. “When I was attending Metropolis University for a few semesters we were randomly made roommates at our dormitory.” Bruce made a wave to the bar to order a drink. “We’ve been best friends ever since.”

“So do you always fly into Metropolis to have dinner with your friend?” Lois sarcastically asked.

“Not exactly, today is special.” Just as Bruce said that the bartender arrived with his drink. Bruce held it up to make a toast, “Happy Birthday, Clark.”

Lois turned a fine shade of red as it was again her turn to be embarrassed. “Yes, I agree. Well, I’m here on business so I have to go. Was Nice to meet you.” With that, she stamped off.

Bruce laughed as he watched the infamous reporter storm off. “Damn, you weren’t kidding about that in your face attitude! What a firecracker!”

“Man, I am going to pay for that tomorrow.” Clark said with a deep sigh. He waved to the bartender to refresh Bruce’s drink and to serve him a strong one too.

“That reminds me.” Bruce said as he dug into his pocket. “I got you gift.” He handed Clark a pretty hefty envelope.

Clark looked at it. “What is it?”

“Something for the guy who can break into any bank around the world but chooses not to because he’s a pretty awesome guy.”

“Which is?”


“Very good.”

“Don’t spend it all in one place big guy.”

“Don’t think I could if I wanted too.”

Bruce smiled and slapped his friend on the arm with a friendly tap. “Let’s get to our table. I’m starving!”

“Ditto.” Clark replied as he took his drink and followed Bruce to their table. They met for dinner every year in Metropolis for his birthday, something Bruce did for him every since his parents passed away in Smallville. Clark always did the same and flew into Gotham on his big day, but usually they stayed at the manor as Alfred always wanted to take part as well. Bruce always enjoyed coming over to Metropolis not only to hang out with Clark but because this evening was one night of the year he would cut loose and really party.

Since he owned the place, Bruce didn’t care what the maître d’ would think about that chaos that was about to ensue. Clark appreciated it, but knew he had a lot of explaining to do the next day. He saw her on the other side of the room and raised a drink for her as he arrived to his table. All he got back was a mean glare.

Oh yeah, Clark thought to himself as he sat down, I am so going to pay for this tomorrow.

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ryn: thanks, but that’s not something I’d really ever go anywhere with. I was mostly just challenging myself to do what I did–write almost exclusively dialogue and still tell a story. That was how I interpreted the prompt. So, yes, I think it could have been better with some narrative, but narrative is my strong point and I wanted to try to do something I had to work at a bit harder to accomplish. Anyway, my point is that your criticism is dead on, but something I did incorrectly on purpose if that makes sense.

First of all, I love this story. It’s an awesome imagining. Well done. Well executed. My only criticism is a minor one but it stuck in my craw as soon as I read it–it just seemed off. The maitre’d calls Clark’s dinner companion his “guest.” That feels right. But then Clark sits down and wonders how long his “guest” will take to get there. That second half seemed off to me, and I know it’sa minor thing, but it’s a minor thing that stuck out like a sore thumb (for me). It was offered as Clark’s thought. It sticks out for me because if I know the person, I might think about him as “him” or as “my friend” but not as “my guest.” I think it stuck out to me because it came so fast on the heels of the maitre’d calling him a guest and I know it could be argued that because the maitre’d called him that, it followed into Clark’s thoughts, but I’ve just never thought of someone I know as my “guest.” I think of them in more personal terms–especially if its someone I have a personal relationship with. Like I said, it’s one, minor, stupid little thing, but it stuck out to me. So I wanted to at least point it out to you. All in all, this is just fantastic.

April 20, 2013

I thought this was intriguing, and I like the set up a lot, but it stuck out to me that Clark thought of Bruce as his “guest”–wouldn’t they just be friends? There were a few word choice issues…”along” should be “alone” when Lois is discussing the mystery guest flying in by helicopter, for example.

April 20, 2013

Cute! I’d love to know what shenanigans they got up to.

April 21, 2013

I agree with “hoops” about the guest/friend thing. Clark’s dinner companion is the host in this scenario, and Clark is the guest–who’s paying the bill?

April 21, 2013

I really enjoyed the story because I have just finished watching Smallville and have been watching the animated movies so I was picturing all this very easily. There were a couple minor spelling mistakes, but nothing else I really had a problem with. I understood why you deliberately didn’t use Bruce’s name at the beginning. I think the only thing I had a problem with was how antagonistic Lois was to Clark. It surprised me because although Lois can be pushy and a pain, she’s not mean and she was being very derogatory toward Clark. So it made me wonder if there was something behind that and I immediately wanted back story! All in all, it was excellent and I really enjoyed it.

April 22, 2013

from the graphic novels that i’ve read, i know clark and bruce to be rivals so this was a fun and interesting read. 🙂

The banter is really solid, and I’ve always preferred Adversarial Lois, so I liked her sharp edges. That being said, this felt like the prelude to a story instead of the story itself. There’s not preamble enough for the Bruce reveal to be the capper, and the last few paragraphs feel like the second half of a story truncated. This is a great seedling, solid and rich in potential and style, but it feels incomplete.