starting over in 06?

i’m drinking more water. or am going to..

and i’m eating more fresh foods and not eating take allthetime.

i’m making an attempt to figure out what the heck i’m doing after college. what i’m going to apply this degree towards.

i’m going to finish the ten thousand books i’ve started.

i’m not going to worry so much about being lazy

or about what people think of my poetry. it only matters what i think right? yeah right.

and maybe i’ll start writing in here again. i feel like a different person than i ever was once. i don’t remember the fifteen year old that started this diary. in some ways i don’t want to remember her and in some ways she is so much better than i am. i think i miss her.

and then i don’t. i’m not as naive, i’m not as uptight, i’m not as scared. but then again i am. i’m a bundle of contradictions and i don’t really remember which ones are right.

and i don’t necessarily understand the paths i have taken to get here. oh if i could change things, i definitely would. i’m not proud of all of my choices.

and i would definitely take my heart off of my sleeves sometimes. i did that way too often. i’m just now learning the art of being non-transparent. at least i’m trying.

whit knee

January 18, 2006

This is a great way to start the New Year!!!

MuddyShoes

These are GREAT resolutions! You WILL complete them…i have faith in you!

lolo

i love you. and i miss fifteen year old you. and seventeen year old me. and mud. and rain. and singing rent in my dark bedroom. and secrets. and stories. and truths. giggles. i miss giggles. and butterfly sisters. but i love you. i love grown up you. and i love grown up me. and i want so much of everything back. you are beautiful and lovely. and everything you ever were. just refined, my love.

Winking*Star

January 29, 2006

I have some of these same sentiments…although I started to think, and came up with teh following: would our 15 year old selves be able to stalk movie sets, make up games like “Tic Tac Drunk,” race someone else’s cars 90 mph on the way home from carbondale, make friends with your neighbors at 3 a.m. after WAY too many shots of bad vodka, do the conga line with Kyle…

or buy and actually drink out of coconut cups, go camping on the river “roughing it” in an air conditioned camper, or fully understand the meaning of the phrase, “why’s the rum gone?” I can honestly say that you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Maybe its good that we’re not the same people we were 6 years ago…after all, we weren’t best friends then, were we?