Self Esteem & Dignity

I feel like a blob.  I feel like a pile of goo on a seat, yet everyone tells me I’m goregeous, they are liars, insincere cruel liars. That includes my partner who I love so much. I just wish that i could be slim.  At my age i should not  weigh 12 stone 2.  i should be 11 stone on the head,  I would be happy.  I should be able to go into a shop and pick something up and know that I can wear it well.  Everyone keeps telling me I’ve got an eating disorder because I went on a high caffiene – little food diet and ever  since I lost that first 3 stone I’ve started calorie counting and watching the size of my portions. They’re jealous that I’m losing weight. They are just jealous….aren’t they….

** Edit ** 2017 **

11 years later, and the weight in which I felt such a blob is now my goal having had two babies. 

Everyone was right, I did have an Eating Disorder. I was fairly ill, they weren’t jealous, they were worried.