Some things never change

I was reading my journal from a couple years ago, right about when Krystal and I broke up.  And nothing has changed, or well it has… but not really.  I feel she still feels the same and we still talk like we do.  Just not as often as when we were “togeather”.  Just reading it gave me reassurance that she will be back.  I just know she will.  This new guy will end, and it will be back to square one.  I also thought how well I write.  I write in a very implusive mood, or whatever comes to my mind at the time.  But I find that is the most effective writing.  I honestly want to photocopy 2 months of my journal from 2002 to Krystal… cause I know it would bring a tear to her eye.  I know it.  It is just so raw, the emotions… the connections, the good times.  I feel she should share them with me, since she was such a huge part of them.

I think about that girl way to much.

I went out with Natalie tonight, the new prospect, I like her.  She really is sweet and has a good head on her shoulders, but I think I feel deep down it will fail only cause I know I am destined to be with Krystal.  Man, I feel fucking psycho writing that.  Seriously.  How can I be so sure?  Or am I just obsessive?  I just feel such clickiage with Krystal and she is exactly what I look for physically… and then to top it off mentally she is right up my alley.  How can I forget about something like that?  HOW?

Natalie, she is a cuttie for sure.  We have a lot to talk about, and I really like her.  But … hell it might be good for me, but I have done that a few times now already with other girls and it never lasted (eg, Kelly and Nicole).

I don’t know.  I really don’t… god I love life.  I just love emotion, I love that rawness of it all… that is life to me.  I guess that is why I love music so much, because so many times for artists a song captures an exact moment in their life, almost like a journal entry but in musical form.  I have been writing a bunch of songs lately.  A couple of them are really good.  I just need to get some music going to the lyrics… I have an idea of what I want them to be… kind of a punk/ska/light rock feel…. remember I am a bass player and bass is important to me, I can’t make it to heavy where the bass is just lost in distortion. 🙂

I better get going, work at 10:30 and it is 4am now… 😛  You would think you would smarten up as you got older.  I guess some things never change. 🙂

Music of the Moment:  The Crystal Method – Legion Of Boom
Today I Feel:  In love with life