My morning begins…
My alarm clock went off this morning. Upon opening my eyes I felt the painful twinges of my hangover. A small headache. A dry mouth. With a huff, I get out of bed because I have to get the kids ready for school.
I am no stranger to hangovers. In my 20’s I would wake up with one most days. But it was “fun then” I’d usually still be drunk and that would get me halfway through the day and venture towards the next blackout. Starting at 28 I took a year and a half off of drinking and it changed my life. I learned how to conquer my social anxiety and function without booze in my life. I lost weight. Gained confidence. You know, the whole shebang. These days I can control my drinking or should I say better protect myself from its potential chaos. I never blackout anymore. I’m rarely sloppy. And never ever ever ever sloppy in front of the kids. Occasional sloppiness is reserved for my partner when the kids are away. Nights filled with giggles and deep conversations and feeling young and wild again.
What I am new to is being a stepmom. I’m about a year plus into it. Now I never wanted kids. Or to reproduce. I mean yeah when I was younger and programmed in a small town for “grow up then get married then have babies” I thought I did.
Still, even now I don’t want my own children. But these kids… a 9-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy.. they’ve absolutely altered my heart. They are absolutely brilliant and vibrant souls with wicked senses of humor that make me chuckle all the time. Somehow this natural motherly instinct filled me. Perhaps my motherly style is a bit strange – I’m like a sarcastic older friend, a content listener, a court jester, and an absolute mother bear. I’m a small and light-voiced woman but I would murder someone if it was to protect these little pals of mine. In-person school has started for them and it started shortly after my dad passed. They are the reason I get out of bed and I’m excited to do so. Truly I am blessed.
My intentions for the day…
Today I’m considering doing a hobby or something. I love digital art and it’s been a week or so since I’ve drawn. I’m not the best artist out there but it’s always nice to get into my imagination. The featured photo is not my art by the way, but I loved it when I saw it.
I’d really like to do a tarot reading. The past few times I’ve done my own readings. But right now I’m kind of walking on eggshells and don’t really want to know in-depth things about myself right now. If you’ve read previous posts I’m in a bit of an emotional place. However, if anyone on here was into this hippie-dippie bullshit I’d love to do a simple reading for anyone interested. I’m not a psychic and I’m rather new to Tarot but my friends have enjoyed my readings. I feel I’m fairly good at the symbolism and I’m rather connected to the Universe – but that’s as far as I can toot my own horn.
If anyone were to be interested – just ask a general question, or give me an intention on anything you’d like to know. I’m not sure if anyone would be interested but if you are let me know. Again – I could be way off in how I read the answers and their connection to you but it’s still a pretty fun thing for me to do and I could use fun right now. I’d be willing to do maybe up to three and may need some time with each one.
Anyway. That’s my post for the day. Thanks for reading. If you feel like chatting here the question I pose it… Do any of you on here have a hobby? I’d love to hear about any of them. Have a nice day everyone!