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July 10, 2020

Ahh, this is the bad guy! I gravitate A LOT (usually, never known why) toward the bad guys in stories. It makes me sad when their demise comes  lol.   So Enlil is on my favorites list, now 😛

I’m not sure why their language kind of turned me off, though… it’s never bothered me before. I think that because of the way you’ve described your scenarios, the language seems too “real life” and cheapens the characters, somehow.

July 11, 2020

@thenerve

Interesting about the division between the two worlds.  I will say that the words in the settings are also telling a story.  Through edits and other people’s perspectives, I will balance things out.  Everything is process, this is my first novel so yeah, lol.  Thanks for your thoughts.  Oh and this is a series–I can’t remember if I have told you that or not.

July 11, 2020

@thenerve

I wanted to add that there are still three characters I have not introduced.  Sol, who is an AI robot, Raphael (hence my name), a being from a higher dimension (protagonist), and Gadreel, another being from a higher dimension (antagonist).

July 12, 2020

@raphaeltiriel – Totally understand, that’s why I offer my notes 🙂  The thing with the language here is that it made me uncomfortable merely because your characters seemed in such a classy plane from the get-go, that adding that to their vocabulary seemed to bring them down to “our” level, and I just feel as if anyone coming down to human level this way is neither worth nor powerful enough. I have no idea if that makes sense, lol, just my POV.  Can’t wait for the other characters 🙂   And no, I don’t remember you mentioning it was a series, but that’s great – one such usually lends itself to more (in number and in diversity) storylines.

July 16, 2020

@thenerve

In a way, I am trying to be sophisticated and I’m also trying to be easily read.  I, too, realize, I do understand the issue.  The difficulty is creating meaning or flow with a plethora of meanings, and it is something that I know I will be having to deal with in the editing stages especially from other editors from which I will learn but I hope to learn before that point.

Other difficulty has been switching from creative to scholarly writing haha. It is kind of one reason why I’ve had to put off doing deep into the editing because it is a lot.  I do enjoy the insights and I don’t ever take anything harshly so always free to speak your mind.  One of the reasons I am doing this is to keep in communication with the audience. I want to talk about these things and other things, and I believe it might be a key ingredient that some authors are missing. I do not want to be unattainable.

July 16, 2020

@raphaeltiriel – I’m REALLY glad you are keeping a thick skin about feedback. A lot of folks are hypersensitive about it, and I get it, but I’m the type of person who’s on the “let’s hurt a friend with the truth instead of killing them with a lie” wavelength  🙂   Either way, my feedback is obviously not meant to be malicious or the “I hate you and don’t want you to succeed” type of thing  LOL.

Another way I was thinking of how the different vocabulary rubbed me was maybe a comparison to fabric: it’s as if there was a fabric with two simultaneous textures.

Can’t wait for the next installment 🙂

July 18, 2020

@thenerve

It’s all good. I’m in a doctorate program, and I earned an English degree, so I must accept feedback to be where I am today. I enjoy arguing, debating, and improvements on anything. I have always viewed it as that is the way that I will grow.  For me, it’s about growth.  If I’m always set in my ways then I cannot grow and that defeats the purpose of enlightening myself and increasing consciousness. The only way that I believe that America can fix its issues in society is to challenge each other’s thoughts, writing, and opinions.  People who do not want to accept change or growth become vicious because they take it as an insult when they should look at it as a helping hand.  We all suffer together, why not enlighten each other. Me preventing someone’s path to success feels like me blocking my own success.  At that, everyone needs to also get a grip on their egocentric and sociocentric mindset. I always keep room for improvement.

July 19, 2020

@raphaeltiriel – “The only way that I believe that America can fix its issues in society is to challenge each other’s thoughts, writing, and opinions” – Oh, if I could post pictures in the notes, you’d get one of an audience in a standing ovation. You are so right. But the egocentric mindsets you mention (based, I think, on insecurity) are the obstacle.

July 22, 2020

@thenerve

And I’d also say sociocentric minds too.  The only way to change the egocentric mindset is to challenge it too.  I spend a lot of time doing that but most people want to avoid conflict until it’s inevitable. I did not realize how bad things were until today when I was trying to help a friend and food pantries are even turning people away. Churches aren’t helping. It’s getting ridiculous out there. Ultimately, we have no choice to open things up or America will die in its chaos.

July 22, 2020

*no choice but to open