4

7:25am 

Clarence is watching cartoons right now. I don’t know why but when Dan left for work today I was a little relieved. We don’t have any issues i’m not mad at him or anything. 

8:39am  

Im having pretzel pieces for breakfast. We’re running really low on food again. We never have enough money to buy enough groceries for even a week. Im done thinking about money and food. Im currently listening to Dog Days are Over, it’s a really emotional song for me. I can relate to it a bit too much. Yesterday I rediscovered my lovde for Jonny Cash. It started with A Boy Named Sue. I was listening to it on my walk and it made me smile. Listening to Jonny Cash feels like listening to a sleep over back in 2007 with my grandparents.

10:13am 

My mania won’t let me be alone right now. I know im manic because I spent from 7:30 to 8:30 with Clarence to fast southern music. After that I called a bunch of people and many didnt answer because duh its early on a weekend. I get like this after hiding from everyone so I know its gonna throw them off. I don’t know how to describe it, but this. doesn’t feel real. life doesn’t feel real I dont feel real. I dont know. I feel like my hands are floating and my blood is warm and my skin is cold. 

12:31pm  

I just got back inside from sitting by the pool… I really want to go shopping for clothes but instead I will get formula.. I just want an ounce of fun in my life… Video games don’t cut it anymore.. I think I should sit in the tub and think.

8:27pm 

today wasn’t a bad day or anything, it just isn’t finished. Danny should be painting with me as soon as Clarence goes to sleep. I think that will be the highlight of the day. Im really excited. We are painting adventure time characters! BMO is my favorite. If I could bring a tv character into the world it would be BMO and he would be my friend. I wrote about who UI am today in my bullet jurnal. I think I’ll add it in here sometime. Its pretty personal but I feel like no one on here could hurt me with the information I wrote.