Clarence is watching cartoons right now. I don’t know why but when Dan left for work today I was a little relieved. We don’t have any issues i’m not mad at him or anything.
Im having pretzel pieces for breakfast. We’re running really low on food again. We never have enough money to buy enough groceries for even a week. Im done thinking about money and food. Im currently listening to Dog Days are Over, it’s a really emotional song for me. I can relate to it a bit too much. Yesterday I rediscovered my lovde for Jonny Cash. It started with A Boy Named Sue. I was listening to it on my walk and it made me smile. Listening to Jonny Cash feels like listening to a sleep over back in 2007 with my grandparents.
My mania won’t let me be alone right now. I know im manic because I spent from 7:30 to 8:30 with Clarence to fast southern music. After that I called a bunch of people and many didnt answer because duh its early on a weekend. I get like this after hiding from everyone so I know its gonna throw them off. I don’t know how to describe it, but this. doesn’t feel real. life doesn’t feel real I dont feel real. I dont know. I feel like my hands are floating and my blood is warm and my skin is cold.
I just got back inside from sitting by the pool… I really want to go shopping for clothes but instead I will get formula.. I just want an ounce of fun in my life… Video games don’t cut it anymore.. I think I should sit in the tub and think.
today wasn’t a bad day or anything, it just isn’t finished. Danny should be painting with me as soon as Clarence goes to sleep. I think that will be the highlight of the day. Im really excited. We are painting adventure time characters! BMO is my favorite. If I could bring a tv character into the world it would be BMO and he would be my friend. I wrote about who UI am today in my bullet jurnal. I think I’ll add it in here sometime. Its pretty personal but I feel like no one on here could hurt me with the information I wrote.