but if i sit here and weep


reading: words words words
listening: rambling man – laura marling
watching: the instant hotel show on netflix
obsession: finishing! the! bedroom! and! the! laundry!

yesterday was,, a lot.

but first, the snowy snowy weekend:

the snow started late saturday afternoon and just kept coming in until like, monday morning i think? saturday and sunday andrew and i just chilled. we talked about wedding stuff with my mom on saturday morning- if all goes as we hope then we’ll be going into february with all the Big Expenses done, save my dress. (cross fingers) then we binged the instant hotel show (well, i did. andrew planned for d&d) and messed with the cat. sunday was more of the same, some cleaning, some reading, some napping, some discussion. we booked our mini-honeymoon air bnb for after the wedding. i stayed up really late and wrote a bit. monday we had off work because snow day!! and while we dawdled in the morning, mid-afternoon we finally drug ourselves off the couch and started organizing/cleaning/upacking the last boxes in the bedroom. the boxes are empty! 4/6 flat surfaces have been dusted, and organized, and generally been made to look nice! it’s a frickin new year’s miracle. we’re aiming for the end of the week to finish this up so we can be actual people!! with fully functioning rooms!! all of them!! wow!!

so yesterday morning i was running a few minutes ahead of schedule, had managed to drink a little coffee before leaving the house, was generally optimistic about the state of my morning, and then. oh, and then. foolish naive me made the decision to drive over the little drift of snow behind my car instead of taking the few minutes to shovel it. now, in past me’s defense, it definitely looked like it was all snow, and a few other people in our parking lot had driven over it, and in the coming hour i would watch at least 3 other people do the same thing. however, the small little snow drift was in fact a large block of ice in the middle, and my front tires got stuck on it. like the undercarriage of my car. just stuck. my car was taking up half the parking lot (luckily people could still pass me), so it’s not even like someone could pick me up and take me to work, since i couldn’t even drive my car back into its snowy prison. no, i got to spend the 8:15-9:15 hour hunched over poking at the ice under my car with my windshield scraper, hoping to dislodge it. i borrowed shovels. i made a friend in a teacher neighbor of mine who could not even get her car up over the snow and ice, and could not remove the ice behind her car with her windshield scraper. every 10 minutes or so we would call encouraging and commiserating things at each other, and after the leasing office opened at 9 she went in search for help for us. it took the maintenance guy and his metal ice breaker’s hard work, and then our property manager, the maintenance guy, and the teacher all pushing as i reversed to get my poor car off the ice.

it was a whole lot to deal with before breakfast.

so i get to work, and i open discord because i want to bitch to my friends about this, but before i can, gabby private messages me. apparently while i was afk the whole long weekend, i missed some Tension in babecord.

now, there is an emote that soda and gabby love to use that is lewd and obnoxious. they think it’s hilarious. if i never saw it again it would be too soon. however, i recognize that it brings them great joy, for whatever meme-loving college kid reason, so i deal with it and don’t yell every time they post it. because gabby and soda, gabby in particular, are brats. if you make a fuss, they will persist because they think it’s funny. i did the same thing when i was 20. they’ll grow out of it!

so apparently while i was not paying attention, gabby, backed by raven, was posting the emote in the general chat on babecord. and mando lost her shit. just absolutely lost it. she deleted a bunch of gabby’s messages, and then set about trying to prevent her from posting it at all. she changed a bunch of server settings so outside emotes couldn’t be used, but then found out that didn’t apply to gabby since she also has admin powers. she then tried to implement overrides in a bunch of channels specific to gabby, but then realized those wouldn’t work since, again, gabby also has admin privileges. so, every person not-admin in our server couldn’t use outside emotes, but gabby was unaffected, and mando sent gabby a really melodramatic dm and then has completely fucked off.

gabby messaged me, really sad, because mando is mad at her. she sends me screenshots, i check the activity log in babecord to like, 25 actions mando took to try to keep gabby from posting, and then gabby is like, “i’m mostly really sad that she’s treating me like megan or robyn or alina. she even subtweeted me” and i like, lost it a little bit because this is RIDICULOUS. so i screenshot the server activity and ask mando what happened, undid what raven was calling “emote jail,” and asked everyone that if they were doing something and someone else asked them to take it to a separate channel to please just DO IT.

all before 10:30 am.


like come ON i wanted to have a nice day.

well, i didn’t get hardly any work done at work, and when i came home all i wanted to do was take a bath and not talk to anyone, so that’s what i did. whoo.

now, today.

rush orders that are RIDICULOUS. emails i missed yesterday gumming up the works today. u g h

mando still hasn’t responded or said anything in babecord at all. the last time she went radio silent was because g demoted her and like, i’m very Tired. i really do love that girl, she’s amazing, but i need her to find her chill and hang out there for like, 2 weeks. can i get 2 weeks without Drama. please.

i miss the hell out of lindsey and bodi.

“no one calls it an instant hotel, shut up,” “i’m going to tell everyone that’s what you said when you proposed,” “fairy when you call me you can calllll meeeee allllllll” <3333

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