today should have been golden.
this weekend sure has been. yesterday we finally decided on flowers, which means we can get the next big chunk of wedding planning out of the way. so many things were hanging out in the wings and now it’s a matter of trying to get them to come to center stage one-by-one instead of rushing out and overwhelming me. we talked to the people at the cider brewery about our options for our all cider all the time bar, we tasted cakes and Made Decisions (2-tier vanilla cake with lemon curd icing for me and andrew, chocolate, vanilla, lemon, and snickerdoodle cupcakes for guests). we had fun!
driving back to nc today we had some good Road Trip Conversation and made a lot jokes, had a great time. and now.
i told bodi and lindsey what color they needed to pick out dresses or whatever in, since i’m not picking One Bridesmaids Dress for this. lindsey immediately was like, plotting to take the color and match it elsewhere and i had to reign her back in, and while initially bodi was all aboard the sweet-i-can-get-my-jumpsuit-hell-yeah train, they brought up shoes.
we have now been obliquely fighting about shoes for an hour and i’m so tired i could scream.
i get they have Gender Issues and if i pick heels or something they might be uncomfy for a bit re: gender. i don’t want them to be uncomfy. but dammit i just want everyone on my side of the bridal party to wear the same shoes. and now i feel like a fucking disney villain for wanting that because HOW DARE I CAUSE GENDER FEELS FOR MY FRIEND. but it’s my wedding and i want everyone to look nice and i don’t understand why they can’t fucking wear what i want them to wear for a hour while I GET MARRIED. I’M GETTING MARRIED AND BODI DOESN’T WANT TO WEAR HEELS SO LET’S TALK THE HEELS TO DEATH INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE I’M GETTING MARRIED THING.
i hate remembering how bodi and i love each other so much but that when it comes down to the wire they can’t step outside of themselves to notice if i’m happy or not.
now i’m upset and crying because of this bullshit and somehow this is literally the most stressful part of my wedding planning so far and how pathetic is that nonsense HUH?????
lol /end selfish rant