Letter From my Son

From: Rob
Subject: blood sugar
To: Dad
Date: Wednesday, June 13, 2012, 2:08 AM

it’s 1:46 AM. i am plugging away at work, answering emails. sadly, i can see i am not the only one. i see another woman i work with that is currently involved in a webex conference – probably with india. sign of the times…for better of worse, i am having a few beers while i plug along.but then, i get a small craving for a snack. i reach for a few honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces – they are pure delight. almost as soon as i grab for them i think of your father and his diabetes.i then think of the results of my physicals, which show a steady trend of blood sugar going into a bad place.i am walking much more than i ever have before in my life – 143 miles so far this year, but still find that i am treading water at best.then… i look at my kitchen and say to myself “some day soon i will own this”what the fuck is the point? “some day soon i will own this”someday the sun will expand and own everything.
where i am going with all this? perhaps just a rant.

ugh!

why do i always come to you as my source of knowledge? i think it’s because you are 20 years in front of me.

you have done such a great job raising me. thanks.

argh! life…

i will have to give you a call some time soon.

BTW. the rain has started to fall, there is a cool breeze out of the west (63 degrees at the moment) – it’s beautiful. there are 4 perfect weeks of the year here – the last two weeks of may, and the first two weeks of june. my birthday falls at the tail end – i love that.

back to the emails.

cheers!
-b

hello son

i love that late spring rain too / life is so sweet sometimes…

there is no escape / men become their fathers / women become their mothers / the DNA is passed forward in time / and we are left without a clue why or what the message might be…

i think about my father a great deal / all the things i should have asked him / i’m sorry / i didn’t know he knew so much / when you’re young you know everything / i didn’t know / i was so full of myself / i didn’t understand…

you make me so proud / i don’t tell you that often enough / i see how you live / and work / and take care of your family / your sensibilities / what delights you / what makes you crazy / your sensitivity / that last one is a curse sometimes / you already know that / i have always secretly admired people that lacked self awareness / it has been said that ignorance is bliss / a little bliss would feel good once in a while…

keep walking / just do it son / it’s the best council i can give you / and keep aware / watch out for the asteroid / i think sometime one can avoid it / it’s worth the effort…

thank you for coming out next month / there is so much i feel i need to explain to you / i know too much son…

and happy birthday / the next twenty can be the best part / things have a way of falling into place / the bigger picture emerges / and what’s really important becomes the focus of your life…

and that indescribably sweet soft spring rain / the laughter in your young wife’s eyes / watching the miracle of your daughter lily’s story unfolding / maybe even the thoughts and the love of an aging parent /that’s the point son / hold on tight to it…

love / your father