The Tiny Details of the Day
I have no words to express what I feel this morning. My qualia longs to be connected in a way that I can only describe as yearning. It feels as if I am dying and I am so very very alone in here. It feels as if I am somehow everything and nothing all at once. And eternity lies in the tiny details of the day. The leaves dancing in the swirling wind. The unfolding moments.
I no longer feel my mother’s hand.
I am afraid.
sounds as if a certain existential dread has befallen you, sir, I can only suggest that “if nothing we do matters than all that matters is what we do” and hope that fills you with a certain self-importance to view the world less through the lens of the abyss and more through your own eyes and the people whom you’ve touched on your path. even those rare and insignificant to your own life, like a stranger who has found solace in your words on the internet. My best to you, fellow traveller,
@thelastdruid Thank you for spending the time to become me. Your note supports the idea that our species has some instructions in our score about compassion. It has also changed my qualia in a positive way even though I am not certain about your exact message. And while I suspect we both may be walking an easterly course, what it really teaches us is simply having another reach out and offer their hand is what is important. Thanks again traveler.
Everyone needs a connection in some shape or form and when that connection can’t be found – even with yourself – it’s a lonely place to be. Our thoughts aren’t all on the same wavelength… and that’s OK. I think of it in terms of tuning a radio. I learned at a very young age (sometime during primary school) that I’m not always operating on the same wavelength as my group of friends. When we were tuned into their favourite channel the reception was loud and clear and everyone was happy to listen. When I asked questions like ‘how do birds know to form that V shape when they fly in groups? ‘ or ‘how do you know that the colours I see are the same as the colours you see?’ I very quickly realised I’d changed to an obscure channel with lots of static and interference and lost connections. Connections can be found. All it takes is a little bit of fine tuning. Hope you feel better.
@cluinn Thanks for your words of encouragement. I seem to be struggling with epistemological questions. Familiar is a word which no longer has meaning to me. But it’s less frightening when others are sharing their views. Thanks again.
I sometimes find myself in a place that I call “in between” and it seems to take forever to get going forward.
By the way I am a first time reader.
@jaythesmartone Thanks for your kind note. I tried to approve your friend request but don’t have access to the appoval. You may have your diary set to friends only? Can you please resubmit?