when he attacked me I was scared for my life. I have never seen a man go that crazy on his own daughter. I felt so defenseless. he’s still pissed off at me. he’s mad that I hit him back but it wasn’t even like that. it was self defense. I was actually scared for my life. what father does that to his own daughter. how does he expect me to ever trust a male in my life when the one who is supposed to love me and protect me the most scares me and has me scarred for life. I won’t forgive him. not this time. instead of him walking in and trying to resolve the conflict between me and my sister he just full on attacked me. he was pulling my hair punching and slapping me. im upset that my little brothers had to witness that. I don’t like them seeing that type of shit. hes always in a mood. he’s always pissed about something or at someone. im sick of being here. I want to leave. but I have no one to turn to in my life. not even a friend. im all alone. I feel as if my hands are tied up. I feel like im in prison. I feel as if im being punished for something that I didn’t even do. I don’t even get high anymore. so im just facing all of this sober. I miss escaping the sad reality I call my life. I just want it all to end. but it won’t. not as long as im here.