I don’t think I have ever said the truth on how I feel, not to somebody’s face. My journal entry’s are generally personal, intimate and me talking to me..
I think I am writing on here for some kind of response, some re assurance, some guidance. Things are hard. I have lost everything I care about in a matter of weeks and I’m not sure if it’s me or not.. I don’t know why I am so prone to loosing everything that’s good in my life or why I constantly feel like I am failing. Half the time I question why I am here at all.. That’s the truth.
The world is a big place yet I feel like the four walls closing in around me are designed to make me fail. Designed to make me feel there is nothing outside of it. My life feels like a world of emptiness and I’m so sad I don’t even know how to cry anymore. I’m sad, but I am so so numb. I just want to be me again, free. I want to be able to laugh with people I care about and feel welcomed. Everyday starts with hope, but ends with sadness.