I think I had decided to be cool and aloof over this. But, here, in the moment, I am feeling very lost. Beyond my misgivings here, my life is very on the nose. My emotions on my sleeve. A facebook update here, a tweet there.
A passing word to a coworker
A sleepy notion to my wife.
But this is where I show my work. This is where I can write the words down and it doesn’t matter if it makes sense.
It doesn’t matter how many times I hit enter
And it certainly doesn’t matter how it looks
I felt it. I wrote it. And then I can move on knowing it’s there for someone else to read. These days, that someone might be somebody just chancing across my diary. It could be a consistent voice that has been there for me here and there and /here/ for a little bit now.
or, it could be no one.
But it’s there. I have boxes of notebooks that are just by me and for me. This was always for you.
And the thought of starting a new seems dreary. I’d much rather be on-the-nose-me then hit-enter-a-lot-me. But I really shouldn’t be either.
I suppose there is a middle ground.
Or maybe I just have to finally learn to let it all go and just exhale
The answers are not in here. But like I said, this was just me showing