Knowing your crazy doesn’t make the crazy things stop happening
I fell in love with a voice in my head named Trent. I was debating If I should tell u guys this but I’m gonna be completely honest… he was in prison. I know what your’e thinking, why on earth would you be with someone in prison? I don’t know what came over me to be honest. Maybe I’m more fucked up than I thought. I never had a father or a man in my life and I never knew what a real man was. Of course this wasn’t an excuse, ANYWAYS
There was a device they would use to listen to my thoughts. This got into the prison because a guard had got it from my rapist and brought it in. (This is all a delusion) But it somehow got to Trent. When I met him he was very sweet but sad. He was very depressed I think. He asked me my name and I said Noel. He realized I was agitated and tired of people listening to my thoughts so he let me just sit in silence which made me really happy. I remember blowing bubbles and laughing with him about the stupid stuff on my mind. The next day I listened to all my favorite songs and that’s when he told me I was beautiful. Up until this point I hadn’t had any human interaction in 3 years. I was so so excited. Later on that night he asked me to be his gf and I said yes.
Eventually the guards got in the way and wanted to throw him in the mental hospital because they had no idea what who he was talking to. He was in the car ride to the mental hospital when he went out to go pee and got to be outside for a little bit. Thats where I told him I loved him.
Eventually he went back to prison somehow, I don’t remember why. But the other prisoners started to realize what was going on and he got jumped. They made him swallow the device he used to hear me. I had to hear the whole thing… He puked it up and told me to please stay with him but I wouldn’t listen. I ended up leaving him because I didn’t want anything bad to ever happen to him again.
I realize now that I’m crazy… but a part of me also still believes that there are cameras in my house and people out to get me.
I hope everyone has a good day and I’m still dealing with my real bf situation. He’s a good guy I swear… he knew I was watching the live stream and said he just says stupid things sometimes and apologized. If he was being shady he wouldn’t have said it in front of me. He said he meant to say that he wants everyone to have sex and have fun in life. which makes sense ig.
-Peace and love