A new start

 I’ve been here at OD for years but I think its time for a new start. I still have my other diary but its not the same anymore. I feel like its tainted for some reason. Mostly what I used it for was to vent and it just seems so negative. 

So, I’ve been given today off (paid) and I had tomorrow and Friday off anyway and my boss offered to give me Saturday off (paid) as well. I was so grateful considering the situation. 

I’m in a relationship with an alcoholic. My life is not easy. and on sunday I snapped and beat the crap outta my man. I am now sitting at home alone and waiting for him to bring my car and phone back. I talked to my mother about what was going on and boy did that start a shitstorm! which made my man even more upset because he got an explosion of hate messages from my sisters. so he had been on his way home but he took a detour in order to calm down. I seem to always find a way to fuck things up and I dont mean to. I still cant believe the random act of violence that came from me on sunday. im disgusted at myself. and I honestly dont know how to fix it. Can I fix it? 

*sigh* 

I didnt want to start this diary out with negativity but thats just whats going on in my life at the moment. 

I want to go into greater detail but I just cant right now. I might post a play by play of the events leading up to my disgrace later. im a mess and Im anxious for him to get home so I cant concentrate hard enough to write properly.