Blue suede Shoes

I Think these shoes of mine need to be refinished. Getting a little frayed around the edges. I try to snap my fingers. They stumble around, a little lost around one another. It looks more like I am twiddling my thumbs minus a thumb and plus my pointer finger. Completely lost on the rythem.
I am walking. Counting the steps as I go.Try not to step on the cracks. Would hate to break that sweet mama’s back.

I gather my thoughts. Some where along the lines a demon sowed them together haphazardly. It looks like a poor sowing invention. Adhered along this thought and that one. two kinds of blue and they do not match with a bit of polka dot fabric clashed in a deep deciding factor.
Dear God.. I do not understand. Are you woman or a man?
Did you really make mankind or did we make you?

The trees they whisper such a lovely melody as the rain drops whisper such a sweet story.
It is of her, and her glory.
I know it is all because of you.

So I shuffle my feet on the pavement. Takes alot of movement to shuffle them away. From the darkness that hangs on my gray.
The blue is kinda gray. Wearing down like my mind. Stuck in this time. OF hurt and rewind. IT feels much like dancing our game of touch and go.
I feel like I know you and then I do not know.
 I put my headphones on and sit under the tree. And I ponder these thoughts of you and me.

You feel so close when I think like I do. Under my skin the way that you do. I can feel your hands up my spine. I can feel your lips on mine. I almost feel relieved. And then I realize.
Sometimes I tried to make sense of what you see in me.
Sometimes I try to make sense of. Why.
I Just sit and think. I shuffle my feet amongst the grass. With a repetative movement I make a hole where the grass was and now the dirt is.
Her death is just like this.
IT is a sad thing to ponder. IT makes the urge to wander..So strong.
I would like to feel anything but this numbness in my bones.
Can you make it all go away?
I whisper to the sky. Almost like I am praying. Wishing for you tonight.

As I walk out into the ocean. Deep Blue cover me.
I turn around and look at the barren magnolia Tree.
Simple endings. So melodramatic.
I have no choice. With out my voice.
You cut the vocal chords out. Have them in one of your many pockets. Amongst the love sonnets.
Just like all those hearts you have tucked away.
Do you miss me a little?
Just a little.
It is ok If you dont. I whisper in the telephone. It feels so cold telling you like this. Tracing my fingernail. Around and around until my skin bleeds.
Look at the ed against the white. As I admire her life.
She is in the stars now. She is looking down now.
I must try.
But I can barely walk. While you run.
I can barely talk and you have song you have sung.
I can barely sleep. You have to dream.
And it is all so much more then it even seems.

What if I just wanted to lay here in this grass. Under this tree. And look in your eyes while you look at me.
What if that is all I ever really want?

But instead I shuffle my unmended shoes. Against this hard gravel, Listen to this walk man and mindlessly walk.
To escape the numbness. Yet it never goes away.
Thank God For my blue suede shoes.