Honest thoughts, I am ok 👍
Just writing this entry to let all the people who might come across my journal and be offended, disturbed or triggered….I am sorry. Please just don’t ready my entries. Honestly I only came back to this site to journal my daily struggles in life And to try and help myself and let out my emotions and thoughts instead of bottling them up. Believe me it does help. I am not on the healthiest journey, but by coming here and writing about it, it has honestly prevented me from overdosing and cutting a few times already so I’d say that’s progress. Yes, I do know my eating disorder isn’t healthy, but for now it is helping me to control my other self destructive behaviours, the ones that got me removed from my home and my kids in the first place. My organs won’t shut down, I won’t be able to get that skinny even if I tired. This is just what I need to do right now so that I can survive 2020 and allthe constant raging thoughts 💭 in mY mind
I, for one, am not worried but there is one person who spoke up because one of your entries was R-rated and it tested the boundaries. But, you know that and I hope the other person doesn’t feel baited by this entry, and tricked into reading it, and then end up continuing to read your entries. There’s plenty of content around for that person who has made it clear to herself several times that she’s bothered.
No, I’m not worried about you at all. While you’re tormented and tortured, you are very clear and coherent. You’re just dancing in the dark until you get it right.
@elcreature thank you for this comment. It was very clear an coherent as well. My intention is not to bait anyone so I will edit the title of this entry as I do understand that we all have our own struggles and I DO NOT Want toContribute to anyone else’s struggle
@skinney4life That’s very mindful of you. I’m not always so on the ball in that department lol.
@elcreature well we all learn right. 😊
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I’m glad writing helps you cope. If people are disturbed by what you write, they can just not read. Take care of yourself.
@soldis yes thank you for pointing that out. I only come on here to voice my raw ugly thoughts cuz if I didn’t I’d prob be arrested again Under the mental health act so I thought this was a better alternative
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I find that I always feel better when I write here and then the solutions I need come to me shortly after.
@jaythesmartone yes exactly!
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Sometimes I’m worried about you, but I’ve been in a similar dark place, and I know that the things that help aren’t always what other people think of as healthy. For years, my OCD and Depression have played a balancing game that keeps me functional. Sometimes it’s the enemy of my enemy is my friend … Until it’s not.
You’re journaling, which means you’re being self-aware of these things. Just monitor yourself, and when your coping mechanism ceases to work, find a different one.
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I am sorry you are going through this and I wish there was a simple answer. <3
@celestialflutter thank you 💞
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