Desperately Intending Decisive Life Changes

Age 65. Drinks beer mostly on the weekends. Has not been doing much aerobic stuff due to injured knee. Bouts of depression and feeling nothing matters. 

BOO FUCKING HOO!

I have noticed with great loathing and disgust my weight rising and one part of my mind making jokes about damn boy you going to need some MATERNITY CLOTHES SOON because of that massive gut you grew. Damn you looking like your daddy did!

Dad ate horrible foods and drank every night. I am far more nutrition conscious but since falling down inside when I hit 65 those beers and other extra calories been rising and falling creating dangerous visceral fat inside me. Heart attack stuff. 

Seeing that massive gut in the mirror recently then realizing 2 nights in a row I had passed out at my desk while drink got me out of the denial that hey I am ok!

Bullshit. 

I quit drinking for around 20 years. I sit here thinking about quitting and knowing I have to and feel like I am going to kill an old friend. I can go sober for days these days then… damn a beer would taste great! OR, I need to kill the feeling ALL feeling inside. 

Bullshit.

I am always amused reading how so many talk about their addiction shit. Disgusted by people telling me how to change when I KNOW HOW TO DO IT AND JUST HAVE TO DO IT!

Here I go again like a General with his troops going off to fight another great battle in another great campaign. Slay the demons of alcohol desire and…

Lose weight and probably save my life. 

Come on Scott, you can do this you have to do it. Yeah but what if trump wins the election? Stay sober and try to survive THAT apocalypse. If Biden wins… oh hell man go party until you gain 500 pounds… then go at life with a greater passion to live.

Either way I have to choose to be health and ALIVE. I remember how good I used to feel. Good beyond those beery hazes during and after. The shits and the cotton mouth. The scary memory loss and feeling run down all the time. Ah yes and all that weight gain… 

Ok Scott here you go… off to do battle with your own addictions! Forward Hoooooooooo! 

Let’s go save a life and not end up a liver ruined bastard like so many others. Find something else to die of 😉 In between that time and now live life to it’s fullest. 

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2 weeks ago

Question? have you ever thought about going to a light beer?  less calories and less alcohol? Did you know that one beer has 150 calories compared to the light which has 90?

2 weeks ago

@jaythesmartone Oh that’s tempting even though light beer usually taste like a flavored water. 😄

2 weeks ago

@skobru

I know but you won’t gain as much weight and won’t get as drunk and stupid…or you could do what I did and just think of a relative that died of alcohol poisoning? just a thought or two….

2 weeks ago

People just don’t realize what addiction is about.

You will probably find a way to quit, you have just no control over when and how it will happen. All you can control is wether or not keep trying new stuff over and over again…that’s all you can promise people.

Personally I’m pretty lucky that my sensitive nauseous nature has kept me from falling too deep into booze SO FAR. Nothing to do with my willpower. So I don’t know how I can help…

2 weeks ago

@majorlemon-lili like you not much of a drinker  I just noticed patterns  that can hurt. Thank you for your kind note I had some rude people comment