First, if you want to bust my balls for this post, fuck you 😉
I am getting drunk in the morning. For good reason. To numb myself. Fuck it all.
I had been talking to a woman in Belarus. Very nice messaging exchanging much about our lives. I thought we had a real connection and then she dropped a bomb on me: She liked me as a father figure. That is all. I told her, “I am a man” and she did not want that. She said she did not want a man in her life. But I was an OLD man father figure sort to her so that was ok. Sort of like a neutered man. An old man is not a man to her. She felt she never had a real father and here I was being friendly and she thought of me as what she wanted: A father figure. I said fuck that and left that. Block and move on.
At work I was going fine and then the owner of the company comes up to me and tells me I am laid off. He expected hysterics and drama. I did not give any.At a company meeting shortly thereafter I complimented him on having the balls to lay us off himself.
Fuck it all… I have beer
In the morning.
I have Pink Floyd singing COMFORTABLY NUMB and I play it over and over now… fuck it all. Funny how in the coming weeks I will look at the clock and think of what I would be doing at work at that time.
They said they will bring me back. I am not sure if I want to go back. I have been fucked so many times by them. I don’t know anymore. 43 years of service and now fucked.