Insecurity Of My Mind

What was the name of the last car you owned? I recently wondered and found it hard to remember that. 

Took me a while but I remembered. 

It was so recent. Like so many things in life: Why do I not remember it or THEM? People.  Events. Times in my life.

I ask myself, “does it matter?”

WHAT “matters”? WHAT is worth remembering? Is shit that happened in the 3 years of High School worth bothering with? Yeah it was traumatic – but get over it already. 

Why do I not remember so much of what happened at WORK in the past 43 years?

Because it had little importance.The same with those people. So many I worked with. They came and went.WHO had staying power in my memory? So much was years of drudgery. A pay check. 

WHY do I not remember much of my childhood and adolescence?I know it was because the events that were the loudest in our emotions had the most staying power.

Why do I not remember where I left that ___ thing in my house? Is it brain damage? 

So much I can and cannot remember. For example, tonight I remembered a song from 1969. Ok I did for a while… what was that song I was listening to… 😉

I fear losing my mind. Becoming a thing that eats, shits and talks idiocy and is useless. Ah ok I remember that song name now. I am not doing so  bad I guess 😉

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kat
October 23, 2020

Our head just gets too full

October 23, 2020

@kaliko So true. Survival was so basic once. Look around and see if there is threat. Food? Shelter? Oh and Thog beating those damned sticks.

October 24, 2020

I find it is revolves around me I have a better chance to remember then if it is about someone else.