First off, I will be posting this on Facebook as I often do. IF any of my coworkers read this by sneaking at peak at what I am up to I want to raise a proud middle finger and say… “FUCK YOU ALL!”
I am still feeling an emotional a hangover from it. Met a very nice lady on a dating site. Belarus. We seemed to hit it off very well. I should have got a clue when she kept telling me NO to my little lewd jokes. Talking friendly but a bit rough humored at times. We hit on many topics. I felt great affection for her and then she set me straight with something that rocked my world in a very mind fucking way: She told me that she did not want a “relationship with a man” and just saw me as a “father figure”. I looked down and saw I have all the man parts complete with the horniness that goes with them. I wanted to blow-up and have a hissy fit. I did not.She told me I could block her on chat. Yeah ok I did just in case I threw a 3 year old old man fit. Ahhhh ok I am no longer of an age where I am seen as a “MAN” but as a “father figure”. I should have told her ok since you feel that way let’s do some incest but naaaah! She would not have got the joke. Bad bad joke. I DID unblock her today and sent her a very nice message and realized she of course blocked me. Hey, I felt good for the effort.
This DOES make me wonder if I am now officially “over the hill” meaning go hit the rocking chair and forget dreams of active sex hormones. Just realized how that, “over the hill” makes no sense to me. I am one horny mortar forker but at 65 I am now some kind … ok I get it: I am an old man.
I got laid off from the factory yesterday morning. Owner was nervous about it and very upbeat vague and full of bullshit about it. Small company. We had a meeting. I think that I and 2 other guys got it. I am second oldest there. The oldest will be kept on to kiss ass and suck dick. Never screw the ass kisser! I have 43 years in in that place but I am also like an old dog that can’t do much it seems. I have been doing all they want me to do. I inspect wood and when the wood comes in for inspection I do a damned good job. But I cannot lift the heavier stuff. I cannot move fast like I once did. I cough a lot and have a mass of aches and pains. I have 2 hernias that need repairs. Ironically I apologized to the company owner about my health on Wednesday. He asked me when I was retiring. I told him I would stay on as long as I can. Drag this rotting body around and keep going the best I can. Then I get this layoff shit. Covid related. Things are bad at the company but I see who they kept: They stronger faster guys. The loading dock man and yeah baby! That mandatory ASS KISSER!
I never thought that much about being “old” until my 65th back in July. Fuck Cancer and horoscope crap. Applied for and got Medicare and in 11 months I can get Social Security. Try to keep on going.
I feel doubled fucked for the past few days. No blow-up at work. I understand why I got laid off. So much has to do with my being old. Company wants me back when they get a new load of wood in to inspect. They expect it will take me 3 weeks. Hah! I can do it in 2 because it is what I seem to have born to do. Last person in the USA doing THAT kind of wood inspection for THAT kind of company. Now if anyone from my company reads this they cannot say I revealed the name of the company or anyone in it. So it looks like I will be laid off a few weeks then brought back and given a hand job hoping they will keep me then probably laid off again. Ahhh hey man! 43 years and a HUGE FUCK YOU!
No, only recently.
Oh … hard winds expected tomorrow. Any roof repairs will be a dip into my savings. Savings I wanted for retirement. Should have started that 43 years ago instead of going in debt (got out last year through the work of 3 angels).
Things could be worse… I just don’t want to think about how worse. If anyone throws god at me I will hit the fucker back like I used to slam tennis balls.