Survival Mode

I have no income now. Nothing coming in. It is a free falling feeling that almost panics me at times. Last year I could buy anything I wanted or close to it. NOW, I spend a week agonizing over a food list of ONLY food. I do not complain. It is what it now IS. There is a gift in it. I appreciate more what I do have. I appreciate still being able to pay the rent from savings. I DO have an IRA and look at it daily trying to push the numbers up on it.

My whole life is now about thinking about food to live on. How to keep myself healthy and alive on the cheap. No extras no sweets or snack foods no alcohol or drugs. NO WASTE. What can eating THIS do to keep me alive? When I drive I drive as conservatively as I can to make the fuel last. So much is now about all I have and do being focused on being frugal and making what I have last as long as I can. It gives me great regrets of my past but regrets don’t keep you alive except for lessons learned. Hoping I can keep my budget down to $30 for food this week. I can. I have to. 

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2 weeks ago

I’ve been there.  Not a happy place to be!  I hope this changes for you soon — tha the Universe opens up to abundance for you.

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer I was recently laughing about my thought processes when younger. I thought and believed in sin and penance stuff. Recently laughed about this being that. Nope! Just never thought I would live this long and did not do any planning. DID luck out with some good family throwing me some life lines. They know I am honorable. Thanks for your kind wishes!

 

2 weeks ago

@skobru I’m in the same boat: I thought (if I thought at all, which of course I didn’t) I had great office skills & would always be able to get a job.  Then along came the 2008 depression & bang! I was out of a job.  And couldn’t get another one: female + old = no job for you, lady.  Had to start drawing SS, when the plan had been to wait until 70 — the maximum age.  Well I survived, and am still surviving, but it ain’t easy!

Glad you lucked out — I can’t picture you on the street with your hat out begging for change.

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer I know it sounds cliché but thank you for sharing that. I was planning on working a few more years at the factory. I probably would’ve had to quit. Thing is I loved inspecting wood. It’s all I ever had that I was good at. On may 18 I applied for Social Security but I am very insecure about the process and I am anxiously waiting for any word from them. According to Michigan I have to look for work to get benefits now. I decided to not and I am hoping that SS will come through for me by September when by law I can get full Payment. Hopefully that will be what I read was the estimate they gave me for years. Nowthere is this new big challenge that is exciting in a way of living extremely frugal. Tomorrow the big adventure of trying to keep my grocery bill under $30. 🤣 thanks always for your kindness.

2 weeks ago

@skobru I don’t remember the SS application process being too onerous.  You won’t get quite the full payment because you applied before you reached the magic date.  I applied 6 months early & lot 5% of what I would have collected if I could have waited.  But if you worked for all those years, the loss might be minscule.  It’s pretty simple: if you’re old enough & that’s any time after 62, then you get what you put into it, more or less.  And you should have it before Sept.  Possibly in July.

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer I read I had to apply before September because I hit 66 in July. 4 months before September I read. According to the application I will get full starting September. It changes with age now I read. People younger have to wait longer. I can get the full at 66 and 2 months. I applied early and it is noted I will get it in September.

2 weeks ago

@skobru That’s right — they keep upping the age of full SS.  Younger people do have to wait longer.  You had to wait a year longer than I did.  You’re also eligible for Medicare (if you’re not on it already.)  And that’s definitely “welcome to the circus, the clowns are in charge!”

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer I started Medicare last year turning 65. I have to admit I love it. ER visit a few weeks ago was over $3000  and I only had to pay around $100. Yeah I love Medicare.

2 weeks ago

@skobru True it’s way better than nothing at all.  And I didn’t have any problems with it for the first 5 years or so.  And then … but maybe you’ll be lucky & avoid the maze.

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer I suspect if it is just simple direct stuff ok. Basic tests and doctor visits. If I have cancer and they have to operate after July 10 then … will be interesting.

2 weeks ago

@skobru Actually my cancer surgery went well.  The big problem came when the Medicare provider I was with dropped the group that was the biggest in Northern Cal & went with an obscure company that was big in SoCal but had very few doctors up here.  I finally had to change Medicare providers, & lucky I’m on MediCal because dont have to wait for open enrollment to change, but can change every 3 months.  So now I’ve got it sorted — I think.  I may have to change PCPs & go back to the one I had before Anthem dropped Hills.  But that’s minuscule compared to the rest of the adventure …

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer Whoa duuude…. you had cancer. I see what you mean now.

2 weeks ago

@skobru Yes, and the group I was in got dumped in the middle of all the tests leading up to the operation, so I had to start all over with a new PCP, new pulmonologist, new oncologist.  It took months to get straightened out.  I probably would have had the operation in October but instead it was the next March.  Luckily the cancer was slow growing …

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer yes luckily. I get tested in July.

2 weeks ago

Sorry that you’re struggling. No point in worrying about the past – it’s done, it influenced you, and you’ve learned. Do you like beans and rice? I have an easy recipe that’ll feed you for days on just a few dollars. Do what you can until that SS comes through.

2 weeks ago

@icchyb I fast for 16 to 18 hours and I get all my meals in the rest of the time. I’ll make sure I get enough fruit and vegetables oddly have not been eating bread. Brown rice and vegetables vegetarian hamburgers can of sardines sometimes. Potatoes with vegetables and cheese and veggie burger too. Throw in some beans. It’s all about nutrition. I don’t feel hungry anymore. It also helps me keep from drinking with no junk food. Not losing weight as fast as I thought I would but it is happening. 26 pounds since the end of March. Thank you beautiful human😊

2 weeks ago

@skobru 26 pounds in a couple of months is incredible! Do you have a crockpot?  rinse a bag of black beans, throw them in, use enough water to cover them by about 2.5 – 3″. Dice up an onion and a few cloves of garlic. One TB of oil. 1 TB of oregano. Give it a stir and cook on high for about 5 hours. Add salt to taste. Make a pot of rice and you’ve got about 5 dinners. You could mix meat in if you want.  I like to mix sriracha in when I eat it.

2 weeks ago

@icchyb Great respect! You been down before. Don’t have a crockpot. Aldi‘s has-bean for about $.50 in cans. But I like how you think and you’re culinary skills.

2 weeks ago

@skobru lol, I’m a lazy cook but I’ve been through some times. 🙂

 

2 weeks ago

@icchyb That’s a great recipe!  I’ll have to remember that for the fall & winter.

2 weeks ago

@ghostdancer So easy and so good!

 

2 weeks ago

@icchyb It sounds it!  I’ll make it, even though I don’t need to do poverty food … at least I don’t at the moment.  But I’ll probably wait until late fall or winter — it sounds more like a winter food than a scorching-hot summer food …