I recently realized that so much of how I talk and act at times was shaped in the crucible of the factory I worked in for 43 years. I carry with me the never healed and healed wounds on my body and the still open inside. At times I look at parts of my body and remember how THAT was broken in the factory and that other part healed up nicely. So much of how I TALK and my life attitudes were forged there.
Greetings like, “Hey you fucker!” and partings such as, “be safe” all part of my life. How I growl and snarl in mind and hide that nice big heart of mine beneath the snarls and growls. It’s my armor. It is all that remains of the clothing I once wore and in parting, thought I had discarded. Yes, the pants, shirt and shoes gone but the mind and attitudes are still in me.
I know that is the same with all relationships. We grow something of ourselves in schoolings, family and intimate relationships. An extreme version of all this is those that enter and exit the military extremely CHANGED on the leaving. The military a part of them for the rest of their lives due to the intensity of such experience.
I have tried to ease the pain of parting from my past work that was so great a part of my life. I cannot leave it all behind. It is in the scars I see on my body and often the attitudes, humor and words I use. I accept it and embrace it with humor.