When I Would Break-Up With Someone

I found it best to delete or throw away all photos of them. I found myself when very young hanging on and looking at photos of them. Things that reminded me of them. Some connections. Then I realized I was trying to hold onto a past that was just THAT: PAST AND GONE. Deleting and getting rid of that part of my life helped erase them from my memory. Objects hold memories or images we project on them. 

For many years I saved a few photos of my ex-wife. I saved them to prove I WAS married. In the past couple of years I have deleted ALL images of that monstrous thing. I cut her out of photos and it worked well. As long as she was on one side. Narrower photos that way. Wedding photos? No need to remember because it brought painful vague memories of that time. I found it best for me to find something from THAT time that was a positive experience person or thing to focus on. Such as the dog I had. I saved many photos of him. There is a good thing and bad thing about aging: At times I want to remember some old loves and even wish I had saved the sex scenes in mind better. But remembering that is like watching 2 strangers being intimate. I am not that same person and whoever they were, they are not, now. 

The only thing I saved from my marriage was a statue of a Buddha my ex-wife gave me for a birthday. It was the only good that came of it and very symbolic as well. I do not remember HER when I see it. I see the Buddha. That is all. That is another lesson. Save things from the knowing of people that are good on their own without being a faint reflection of someone we once knew. That is the only reason I now save any photos of anyone. There is a good feeling from them. ONLY. 

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2 weeks ago

So be it ! I started deleting …

2 weeks ago

@twinparadox Smart move look forward not back. After I lost my job I decided no looking back on it. That shit is gone.

2 weeks ago

@skobru your message acted like the kick in the ass I needed, thanks

2 weeks ago

@twinparadox I learned the hard and stupid way. Life does NOT have to be so painful as we make it. I sometimes read stuff on here that makes me think about my own life. You and others. I was a pot head. I quit. I was a smoker and quit. I had a drinking problem and finally, using simple logical thinking quit that. Same with most junk food. Yeah I am proudly a quitter 😉

2 weeks ago

@skobru Yes well done mate. Tortured souls like us learn to find the way out.  Quitting weed is in motion from my side. I’ll just try not to quit the love next time I meet it !

2 weeks ago

@twinparadox Easy for me to lecture. I hate that. I can say what works for me or worked. In relationships, be kind, empathetic and compassionate. LISTEN. My ass is not the world center. Other people matter. Egos are toxic things in relationships. ME ME ME! Sucks. If people argue a lot it is not worth the pain and stupidity for both. Move on. We cannot change others to be what we want them to be just as we do not want them to change us. Damn but I had a lot of others try to change me. Then I saw others were not living the image I wanted of them. One of my birds bites me and is a little shit. Bird is going to be bird and I will love bird as bird is. I need to be that way with people or ignore and avoid to keep peace. My view of friends is they are special. If someone is not calling me, I am not important to them so fuck it. When I call someone I do it without conditions. That is on me, not them. Hi, have a nice day. If they do not call back, fine. As a shrink once wrote something like, “we do not have to go through life kicking and screaming”. No we do not. I tortured myself for decades and learned to give it up.